10 Best BDSM Dating Sites For BDSM Lifestyle

Want to find a kinky partner without getting into any trouble?

Don't worry! we got you covered.

The best BDSM sites let you find kinky adults who are into the same types of fetishes as you are. They’re also discreet, safe to use – and a little bit naughty. 

And while online dating, in general, can be a bit of a minefield, BDSM dating sites are growing in popularity. So much so that you’ve got more top-rated sites to choose from than ever before, including ones that are aimed at specific fetishes, and those that are open to a wide range of tastes. 

Whatever you’re into, we’ve rounded up the top BDSM sites to join today. Each one has been carefully vetted for safety and security, as well as features, ease-of-use, user-base, and – of course – its kinks and fetishes.

The Best BDSM Sites of 2022

1. AdultFriendFinder

adultfriendfinder

AdultFriendFinder has been at the forefront of BDSM dating for over 20 years. Used by 30,000,000+ people who are into all kinds of deviant behavior, AFF is typically the first dating site people check out if they’re looking for some bondage, fetish, and kink action.

Nudity is permitted at AFF and you’re free to sign-up as an individual, or as a couple. And while people use it to find hook-ups, orgies, sex parties and one night stands, AFF is also home to a huge online community of people who are open to sharing ideas and discussing all things kinky online. 

AFF is free to sign-up to, but in order to enjoy everything else (including the privilege of sending messages), you will need to subscribe. Prices start out from around $32 per month.

Pros

  • The biggest BDSM site with millions of active users.
  • Ideal for all anything and everything.
  • Live webcam models to keep you entertained.

Cons

  • No official mobile app but the site is mobile friendly; it can be be used on your mobile.

2. Fetish.com

fetish.com

Fetish.com has the best BDSM community for dating and connecting. At Fetish, you can begin by taking a BDSM personality test to find out how naughty you really are. Once that’s done, you can find people who share your tastes, and Fetish is indeed used by people who are into anything and everything, from munching to orgies. 

What we like about Fetish is that it welcomes both beginners and experienced fetishists alike. Most of the profiles are heavily detailed, with people taking this site very seriously. And because the age range is so evenly distributed, it doesn’t matter how old or young you are – Fetish is open to everyone. 

Signing up is free, and you can also receive messages for free. In fact, you can do most things for free at Fetish, but if you wish to become a VIP, prices start from around $25 per month for a monthly subscription.

Pros

  • Fun personality test.
  • Good to find events arranged by BDSM community.
  • People interested in cybersex.
  • Verified profiles to keep you 100% protected.

Cons

  • Male dominant in numbers.

3. FetLife

fetlife

FetLife describes itself as a “social networking website.” True – it isn’t a dating site in the same way that, say, OkCupid is (see below). But you can still use FetLife to meet kinksters who are into the fetish lifestyle, and who want to have some fun either online or in person. 

FetLife is currently used by more than 8,000,000 people around the world who join up to share their fantasies, chat online, post on other members' walls, share photos and explore their sexualities in a safe space online. 

FetLife is actually one of the most affordable dating apps around. Whether you subscribe for a month, for six months, or for twelve months, the price is just $5 a month.

Pros

  • Over 10 million members.
  • The price is very affordable.
  • The feeling of BDSM community is unmatched.

Cons

  • More of a BDSM community or social networking than all out BDSM dating site.

4. Alt.com

alt.com

Alt is another adult dating site that’s aimed mostly at the BDSM scene. However, you can also use it to land a traditional hookup if you prefer. That said, most people who join are into role-playing and want to meet someone of a similar nature who shares their tastes, passions – and perversions. 

What we like about Alt is that it states exactly on the homepage how many members are interested in specific things. For instance, there are currently 4,420 “BDSM amateurs” using the sites who are looking to meet right now. Altogether, there are nearly 1,000,000 active users here. 

There’s not much you can do as a free member at Alt, which is why most people upgrade to premium. Doing so will cost $29 per month for Silver membership, or as much as $40 per month for Gold membership.

Pros

  • A good option for erotic BDSM dating.
  • You can filter down by different bondage fetishes.
  • Live BDSM chat.

Cons

  • Less popular compared to other bdsm sites.

5. Seeking.com

seeking.com

Seeking is more of a sugar daddy app than an out-and-out BDSM site. However, if you’re a sugar daddy looking for a sugar baby (or vice-versa), there’s no reason why you can’t find someone who shares your erotic tastes.

All you have to do is tweak your profile so that other users know exactly what you’re looking for. For example, if you’re an older male looking for a young mistress, or if you’re a minx looking for an older man you can enslave, you just need to say so on your profile. 

You can subscribe to Seeking for a month at just under $100, which makes Seeking one of the most expensive BDSM sites around. To save money, you can subscribe for 3 months for the total price of $275.

Pros

  • A good option for those who are looking for a sugar baby or sugar daddy with BDSM kink.
  • Amazing female to male ration, 4:1.
  • Overall, the site is more professional.

Cons

  • Only for rich men.

6. OkCupid

okcupid

OkCupid regularly polls its users to find out more about them. A few years back, it said that 75% of its male members were fans of rough sex, while in 2021 it claimed that there had been a 55% increase in members who say they’re into BDSM.

These are huge numbers when you consider that OkCupid is used by more than 50 million people around the world. Not just that, but OkCupid is widely known for being an inclusive, tolerant dating site where people who love to experiment with sex feel welcome. 

OkCupid is completely free to send and receive messages, and most users stick to the free plan. If you want to see who’s liked you and who’s read your messages, and if you’d like a daily profile boost, you can subscribe for just $7.95 per month, which makes OKCupid one of the cheapest BDSM sites.

Pros

  • OkCupid has a lot of users who are into BDSM.
  • OkCupid users are very open-minded so you don't need to worry about sharing your sexual desires.
  • You can get results in the free version.

Cons

  • You can't send a message until you're matched with the person.

7. KinkD

kinkD

KinkD is a fetish dating app that boasts to be home to the biggest online community of kinky daters. It’s open to those looking to date and see what happens, singles who want a hookup, as well as people who are just looking to make new friends. 

A non-vanilla dating app, it lets you meet people who are nearby, as well as those who are located further afield. KinkD comes with a search function, it’s easy to use, and it’s totally free to send and receive messages with other users. 

If you subscribe for a month, you’ll need to pay $14.99, while subscribing for 3 months costs $35.99 over the total period.

Pros

  • KinkD is like an umbrella of people with all kinds of sexual lifestyle and intrests.
  • Also, a good option for people with non-vanilla interests.
  • You can find people based on roll like master and switch. 20+ years experience.
  • You can start a private chat with any user that too for free.

Cons

  • Limited user base.

8. Kinkoo

kinkoo

Kinkoo is another BDSM hookup site that’s mostly used by people who are looking for casual sex encounters (fuck buddies etc). However, it does suffer from a high number of fake profiles, as well as scammers who sign-up just to promote their porn pages/services. 

On the flip side, there are still lots of genuine users on Kinkoo. What’s more, you don’t have to match with someone first before you can send them a message. Instead, you can apply search filters, find people who are into the same fetishes as you and shoot them a message. 

Kinkoo costs $15.99 per month if you upgrade to the premium plan for a month. You will save a bit of cash by subscribing for 3 months, however, with the total cost coming in at $38.99.

Pros

  • It has a swiping matchmaking feature which is very rare on bdsm dating apps.
  • You can start a conversation from the feed itself.
  • You can share in your KINK feed for feedback or tell what you're looking for.
  • Video chat feature is also available.

Cons

  • Kinkoo is rather expensive for what it has to offer compared to its rivals.
  • Has significant inactive and fake profiles.

9. Fetster

fetster

Fetster is a text-based dating app that, due to its retro text-based nature, might not be for everyone. However, it’s totally free to use, and it’s more than just another dating site. It’s also home to an entire online community of fetishists who are on hand to help welcome you into the wonderful world of BDSM if you’re new to this.

There are blogs, stories, events, and a forum where you can chat to people, make new friends and learn more about people and their fetishes. Naturally, you can of course find dates and hookups on Fetster, but it’s worth mentioning that there is no Fetster app at the time of writing. 

Unlike most other BDSM sites, Fetster is actually free to use.

Pros

  • You can search for member for feee by using advnaced search filter.
  • Free to send and receive messages.
  • It has a very community based environment.

Cons

  • Not super popular.

10. R/bdsmpersonals

R/bdsmpersonals is a Reddit page dedicated to all things BDSM. Like all Reddit communities, there are rules and regulations to follow, and you can only post so many times a day. What’s more, because r/bdsmpersonals is just a Reddit page, there’s no search function. 

However, you can post ads, respond to ads, get to know people – and maybe meet fetishists who are into the same things you are. And as long as you respect the rules and don’t do anything to annoy people, r/bdsmpersonals is great as a side “site” that’s free to use. 

Just post who you are, what your age and location is (as well as what you’re looking for/into) – and wait for people to comment.

Pros

  • Free to use.
  • All you need is a reddit account that you probaby already have,
  • Easy to post and respond to personals.

Cons

  • Success rate is quite low.

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