Married but looking for – whisper it – an affair?
I know, affairs are a bit naughty. But when our partner isn’t giving us what we want on an emotional and physical level, we sometimes need an outlet/release to spice up our lives so that we’re not tempted to leave them for good.
Of course, when it comes to married dating sites, discretion and security is everything. The last thing you want is to sign up for a dating app where people frown upon your situation, and where your details are at risk of being leaked. What you want is anonymity and somewhere risk-free to have the sex you deserve.
The dating sites for married people I’m going to review in this article are all legit, they’re all safe, and they make sure your private affairs stay private. Moreover, they’re populated by people who are in the same situation as you, and who are looking for what you’re looking for.
Whether you want a hookup, or whether you want a friend with benefits who you genuinely connect with, there’s something here for everyone. So come join me as I take a look at the best dating apps for married people
Heads up! DatingXP and its authors don't encourage cheating but due to the nature of our site, we do cover all aspects of online dating. To get married to someone and then doing the unthinkable stuff is just unjustified! We suggest you get talk things out with your better half or get see a therapist. You can also learn about these affair sites to learn if you're spouse is using them.
Top Affair Sites
1. Ashley Madison
Ashley Madison is the most famous of all extra-marital dating sites, largely because it achieved infamy a few years back when its data was breached. Fear not, though, because the website has worked tremendously hard to ensure that sort of thing won’t happen again. Its tagline is “life is short, have an affair,” and the affair site aims to pair up adulterous couples who need something fresh in their life. The site is home to millions of active users, there are lots of useful features, such as Priority Man that boosts your profile, and discretion is the site’s byword.
Unlike a lot of married dating sites & dating apps where you’re not locked into a monthly subscription, AshleyMadison requires that guys purchase credits in order to send messages, virtual gifts, and use other features. It costs 8 credits to send an opening message, and you must purchase more credits as you go along.
There are all kinds of search filters here, and it’s really easy to find what you’re looking for. Most of the people are married and are looking to have an affair. You can add as many as 100 profiles to your “favorites” list, and you can send “winks” to members if you’re too shy to initiate a conversation. If you like, you can blur out your photographs so that only specific profiles can see them.
It wasn’t long before I realized that people who sign up for AshleyMadison aren’t just looking for red hot sex tonight. Instead, many are looking for friends with benefits, so it’s really important that you take the time to make genuine connections – as opposed to just sending naughty pics. There are lots of ways you can improve your success rate. For example, men should definitely use the Priority Man feature, which boosts your visibility for a set period of time. Overall, my success rate on Ashley Madison was good.
- Millions of users
- Aimed specifically at cheating couples
- Discreet & stuffed with features
- Can take you a while to make a success of it
The most popular hookup site in the world, Adult Friend Finder caters to literally every sexual preference you can think of. Once your account is up and running and you’ve chosen a subscription package, you just need to tweak your search settings. However, a major problem is that you can’t specify that you’re looking for a married person who’s looking for an affair.
That said, many users here have no scruples and there are many who won’t mind that you’re looking to have an affair, even if they’re not. If you like the look of someone, you can view their profile to find out more about who they are and what they might be up for. Then, you can either send them a message or send them a “flirt.” If they like you too, they’ll get back to you.
I didn’t find it hard to land a few hookups because many of the active users are looking for something casual. As I said, you can’t specify “married person” in the search filter, so you will need to spend time checking out the profiles to see what they’re up for.
Also, whilst it’s difficult to find users who would be up for cheating with you, you can specify exactly what you’re looking for in your profile (Relationship status). This will help people find you.
For more info: Read AdultFriendFinder's Review
- Millions of users
- Lots of features, including webcam shows and adult movies
- Caters to all kinds of sexual preferences
- Basic layout
- Will be too explicit for some
3. Victoria Milan
Victoria Milan is an affair site aimed at people who are married but looking for discreet extramarital affairs. It’s discreet, comes with a very useful Panic Button if you need to hide your profile super fast, and it’s really easy to use and sign up to. Other useful feature includes an Anonymous Blur tool that lets you privatize your pics.
You can search according to a user’s last login time, which is great for convenience, but you’ll find that users can change their exact location whenever they want. For example, if you live in New York, you could say that you live in California. This can get a tad confusing, but it’s designed to help people stay as safe and anonymous as possible.
Users on VictoriaMilan take it very seriously, so whenever you shoot a message, you’ll need to make sure you’ve completed your profile first. You’ll also need to upgrade your account and choose a payment plan because basic users can only view profiles – they can’t send messages.
I found that the key to success is a) completing your profile as thoroughly as possible b) uploading your best pics where you look approachable and sexy but not seedy, and c) being polite, respectful, and flirty. That said, one of the best features of this affair site is that you can send people gifts that are either naughty or nice. There’s nothing wrong with something naughty now and then – sometimes it definitely works!
- Easy-to-use website
- Excellent tools and features
- Perfect for married couples looking for romance
- Need to upgrade your account to view messages
- Can take a while to get a match
4. Marital Affair
Marital Affair’s slogan is “where the grass is always greener.” In other words, if your partner isn’t doing it for you anymore, it’s time to look elsewhere! Marital Affair is fairly low in traffic compared to the other dating sites on this list and is home to less than a million users. However, its features are good, the customer service is fine and there’s still a lot to like about this dating site.
Marital Affairs is free to sign up to, and you can search for profiles and even take a closer peek. However, you’ll need to upgrade to a paid membership to send messages. You can use the site on the desktop or your mobile device, and the advanced search functionality makes it easy to find active members who are online right now in your local area. You can also tweak your search settings so that you can find people who are further away.
Once you come across a profile you really like, you just need to shoot them a message. It’s that easy.
Marital Affair doesn’t have as much traffic as other dating sites, but what I love about it is how professional, discreet, and kinda romantic it is. Yeah, people are here to have an affair, but most of the users are looking to be wooed before you meet up.As such, it's really important to do what I did: Take the time to fill out your profile, specify what you’re looking for and be polite, have respect for others, and really put on the charm. On the other hand, be careful of fake profiles because there are a LOT of this online dating app service.
- Caters to all kinds of wants and needs
- Easy registration process
- Excellent user layout
- Lots of fake accounts
- You might be swamped with unsolicited emails
5. Heated Affairs
HeatedAffairs is home to almost 50,000,000 members worldwide. It’s a high traffic married affair dating site that offers a variety of ways to connect with others, as well as side features, such as live cam models and Contests. HeatedAffairs is open to anyone of any sexual persuasion, and it really embraces the LGBT community.
There are 5 steps to sign up, during which you’ll need to answer a couple of prompts. Once that’s out of the way, you need to add a bio, some pics and then you have the option of taking a few personality quizzes. These quizzes will make it easier for the site to score you a suitable match, so they’re well worth taking. If you’d rather not spend your time doing that, you can just carry out your own searches and use one of the messaging functions to initiate contact.
This affair site makes it super easy to find what you’re looking for. Married couples and unattached men and women are on here, and they’re all looking for the same thing you are. I mixed things up by trying different messaging techniques. For example, I sometimes sent direct messages, but other times I sent an Ice Breaker or a Flirt.
There’s also an Instant Messenger function where you can even video chat with your match. I suggest doing this only after you’ve established a bit of a rapport with somebody. Overall, I met two women off the HeatedAffairs dating site, both of whom wanted no-strings-attached sex, so it gets the thumbs up from me.
- Millions of active users
- Lots of useful features, such as a Sex Academy
- Live model shows
- Fairly lengthy sign-up process
6. Illicit Encounters
Illicit Encounters is a UK-based dating site aimed at cheating wives and husbands. It’s home to more than a million active users, and it’s been around since 2003. Ladies can send and receive messages for free, but men have to upgrade to a paid membership to do the same. Signing up takes around 10 minutes at the most.
Once you’re all signed up and have chosen a membership type, you’ll find that most of the users are aged between 30 and 55. Many of them are disillusioned with their current life and want a bit of fun, although some are widowed or separated. Sending messages is easy but uploading a photo isn’t mandatory. As such, you might have a hard time figuring out who is genuine and who is fake. Features include Virtual Kisses and virtual gifts.
Illicit Encounters requires patience because of the fact that you don’t have to upload a photo of any kind. However, once you’ve chosen a few profiles that you like, you can add them to your Favourites list and message them whenever you want.
I broke the ice with a few virtual gifts but I found the easiest way to succeed here is to just send a direct opening message. Not everyone will respond, and there are a lot of fake profiles. But if you write out a decent About Me paragraph and tweak your search filters, it’s possible to make a connection with someone before meeting up.
- High user base
- Attractive layout
- Useful features
- Fake profiles