7 Best Dating Sites For Married People (2020)

Married but looking for – whisper it – an affair? 

I know, affairs are a bit naughty. But when our partner isn’t giving us what we want on an emotional and physical level, we sometimes need an outlet/release to spice up our lives so that we’re not tempted to leave them for good. 

Of course, when it comes to married dating sites, discretion and security is everything. The last thing you want is to sign up to a site where people frown upon your situation, and where your details are at risk of being leaked. What you want is anonymity and somewhere risk-free to have the sex you deserve.

The dating sites for married people i’m going to review in this article are all legit, they’re all safe, and they make sure your private affairs stay private. Moreover, they’re populated by people who are in the same situation as you, and who are looking for what you’re looking for. 

Whether you want a hookup, or whether you want a friend with benefits who you genuinely connect with, there’s something here for everyone. So come join me as I take a look at the best dating sites for married people.

Best Dating Sites For Married People

1. Ashley Madison 


Ashley Madison is the most famous of all extra-marital dating sites, largely because it achieved infamy a few years back when its data was breached. Fear not, though, because the website has worked tremendously hard to ensure that sort of thing won’t happen again. 

Its tagline is “life is short, have an affair,” and the dating site aims to pair up adulterous couples who need something fresh in their life. 

The site is home to millions of active users, there are lots of useful features, such as Priority Man that boosts your profile, and discretion is the site’s byword. 

However, one thing that will niggle with the guys is that women get all access for free, while men have to buy credits in order to send messages and use the other features. 

How does It work?

Unlike a lot of married dating sites where you’re locked into a monthly subscription, Ashley Madison requires that guys purchase credits in order to send messages, virtual gifts and use other features. It costs 8 credits to send an opening message, and you must purchase more credits as you go along.

The signup process is easy enough, and once you’ve completed the necessary steps you’re then free to check out the other members. 

There are all kinds of search filters here, and it’s really easy to find what you’re looking for. Most of the members on this dating site are married and are looking to have an affair, although this isn’t true of all members. 

You can add as many as 100 profiles to your “favorites” list, and you can send “winks” to members if you’re too shy to initiate a conversation. If you like, you can blur out your photographs so that only specific members can see them. 

My Experience

Ashley Madison can be hit and miss because, whilst there are millions of active members who are looking for the same thing you are, there are also lots of fake profiles. Also, most of the members (in my experience anyway) didn’t share too much information on their profile, and many of them were quite reserved (understandable when you think about the main reason they’re here). 

That all said, there are lots of ways you can improve your success rate. For example, men should definitely use the Priority Man feature, which boosts your visibility for a set period of time. 

Also, it wasn’t long before I realized that people who sign up for Ashley Madison aren’t just looking for red hot sex tonight. Instead, many are looking for friends with benefits, so it’s really important that you take the time to make genuine connections – as opposed to just sending naughty pics. 

Overall, my success rate on Ashley Madison was good. I chatted with a lot of women on this dating site and met up with two of them after exchanging a few emails. Read Ashley Madison's Review

How Much It Costs?

Women get full access for free but men have to buy credits in order to send messages. There are 3 packages men can choose from: 

  • Elite – 1,000 credits 
  • Classic – 500 credits
  • Basic – 100 credits 


  • Millions of users
  • Aimed specifically at cheating couples 
  • Discreet
  • Packed with features 


  • Can take you a while to make a success of it 

2. AdultFriendFinder 


Perhaps the most well-known hookup dating site in the world, Adult Friend Finder caters to literally every sexual preference you can think of. 

Want a hookup? It’s got you.

Want kinky sex in a dungeon? It’s got you.

Want an affair? It’s got you.

With millions of active members worldwide, Adult Friend Finder has been called the “PornHub of dating” because the website is so graphic. Lewd images are plastered all over the homepage, live webcam shows are happening all the time, and seemingly nothing is off-limits. 

How does It work?

Adult Friend Finder is a straight-up, no-nonsense hookup site. As such, it’s really easy to create an account and get started. 

The premise is simple: Once your account is up and running and you’ve chosen a subscription package, you just need to tweak your search settings. However, a major problem is that you can’t specify that you’re looking for a married person who’s looking for an affair.

That said, many users here have no scruples and there are many who won’t mind that you’re looking to have an affair, even if they’re not. 

If you like the look of someone, you can view their profile to find out more about who they are and what they might be up for. Then, you can either send them a message or send them a “flirt.” If they like you too, they’ll get back to you. 

My Experience

I didn’t find it hard to land a few hookups on Adult Friend Finder because many of the active users are looking for something casual. As I said, you can’t specify “married person” in the search filter, so you will need to spend time checking out the profiles to see what they’re up for. 

To increase your chances of success on this dating site, it’s a smart idea to get involved with the community. This means chatting in the chatrooms, commenting on the webcam videos, and maybe even going on video yourself.

Also, whilst it’s difficult to find users who would be up for cheating with you, you can specify exactly what you’re looking for in your profile. This will help people find you. Read AdultFriendFinder's Review

How Much It Costs?

  • 1 month – $20
  • 3 months – $36
  • 12 months – $108


  • Millions of users
  • Lots of features, including webcam shows and adult movies 
  • Caters to all kinds of sexual preferences 


  • Basic layout 
  • Will be too explicit for some

3. Victoria Milan


Victoria Milan is a dating site aimed especially at adulterous partners. It’s discreet, comes with a very useful Panic Button if you need to hide your profile super fast, and it’s really easy to use and sign up to.

Other useful features include an Anonymous Blur tool that lets you privatize your pics, while the website is secured by an SSL certificate and 256-bit encryption.

How does It work?

Registration takes less than 5 minutes, and you only need to hand over your email address to get your account verified. Then, you just need to select your preferred dating interests and what makes you horny before adding some pics and a bio. 

The more you fill out your profile, the more chances you’ll have of finding a match. You can search according to a user’s last login time, which is great for convenience, but you’ll find that users can change their exact location whenever they want. For example, if you live in New York, you could say that you live in California. This can get a tad confusing, but it’s designed to help people stay as safe and anonymous as possible.

Users on Victoria Milan take it very seriously, so whenever you shoot someone a message, you’ll need to make sure you’ve completed your profile first. You’ll also need to upgrade your account and choose a payment plan because basic members can only view profiles – they can’t send messages. 

My Experience

Victoria Milan is a professional, sophisticated affair dating website that isn’t particularly easy to enjoy success on. This is because people who signup aren’t looking for a casual hookup tonight – they’re largely looking for something more romantic. 

I found that the key to success is a) completing your profile as thoroughly as possible b) uploading your best pics where you look approachable and sexy but not seedy, and c) being polite, respectful, and flirty.

That said, one of the best features of this dating site is that you can send people gifts that are either naughty or nice. There’s nothing wrong with something naughty now and then – sometimes it definitely works!

With persistence, and with some charm and romance, success can definitely be had here. 

What does It cost?

  • Free to join 
  • 3 months – $20 per month
  • 6 months – $15 per month 
  • 12 months – $10 per month


  • Easy-to-use website 
  • Excellent tools and features 
  • Perfect for married couples looking for romance


  • Need to upgrade your account to view messages
  • Can take a while to get a match

4. Cougar Life 


As its name suggests, Cougar Life is aimed at pairing up older women with younger men. A lot of the women who use the site are bored housewives looking for some fun, which makes it an ideal married affair dating site. 

How does It work?

The sign-up process takes a few minutes and is probably more complicated than most people would prefer. For example, you need to fill in your hair color, your body type – and even your eye color. Some of it seems unnecessary but once you’re up and running, you’re free to use the search function to find members.

When you see someone you like, you’ll need to upgrade your membership in order to initiate a conversation.

Women outnumber the men by side margin but by and large, the site works like any other dating site. 

My Experience

Cougar Life complicates matters by giving you various ways to send messages. I made use of the Priority Mail tool whenever I felt like being more creative, the Flirt tool when I wasn’t sure about someone, and the Send a Gift feature whenever I really wanted to catch someone’s eye. 

However, while there are lots of older, married women on here, there are also lots of younger, single women, too. The number of fake profiles doesn’t help matters either, so your success rate – like mine did – hinges on how much effort you’re prepared to put in. 

What does It cost?

  • $40 – $144


  • Free to sign-up
  • The high number of married women on here
  • Can be as naughty as you want


  • Overly complicated at times
  • Lots of young, single women 

5. Marital Affair


Marital Affair’s slogan is “where the grass is always greener.”

In other words, if your partner isn’t doing it for you anymore, it’s time to look elsewhere!

Marital Affair is fairly low in traffic compared to the other sites on this list and is home to less than a million users. However, its features are good, the customer service is fine and there’s still a lot to like about this dating site. 

How does It work?

Marital Affairs is free to sign up to, and you can search for profiles and even take a closer peek. However, you’ll need to upgrade to a paid membership in order to send messages. 

You can use the site on desktop or your mobile device, and the advanced search functionality makes it easy to find active members who are online right now in your local area. You can also tweak your search settings so that you can find members who are further away. 

Once you come across someone you like the look of, you just need to shoot them a message. It’s that easy. 

My Experience

Marital Affair doesn’t have as much traffic as other dating sites, but what I love about it is how professional, discreet, and kinda romantic it is. Yeah, people are here to have an affair, but most of the members are looking to be wooed before you meet up.

As such, it's really important to do what I did: Take the time to fill out your profile, specify what you’re looking for and be polite, have respect for others, and really put on the charm. 

On the other hand, be careful of fake profiles because there are a LOT of them on this dating site. 

What does It cost?

  • Free to sign up 


  • Caters to all kinds of wants and needs
  • Easy registration process
  • Excellent user layout 


  • Lots of fake accounts 
  • You might be swamped with unsolicited emails 

6. Heated Affairs

Heated Affairs

Heated Affairs is home to almost 50,000,000 members worldwide. It’s a high traffic married affair dating site that offers a variety of ways to connect with others, as well as side features, such as live cam models and Contests. 

How does It work?

Heated Affairs is open to anyone of any sexual persuasion, and it really embraces the LGBT community. There are 5 steps to sign up, during which you’ll need to answer a couple of prompts. Once that’s out of the way, you need to add a bio, some pics and then you have the option of taking a few personality quizzes. 

These quizzes will make it easier for the site to score you a suitable match, so they’re well worth taking. If you’d rather not spend your time doing that, you can just carry out your own searches and use one of the messaging functions to initiate contact. 

My Experience

Heated Affairs makes it super easy to find what you’re looking for. Married couples and unattached men and women are on here, and they’re all looking for the same thing you are.

I mixed things up by trying different messaging techniques. For example, I sometimes sent direct messages, but other times I sent an Ice Breaker or a Flirt. 

There’s also an Instant Messenger function where you can even video chat with members. I suggest doing this only after you’ve established a bit of a rapport with someone.

Overall, I met two women off Heated Affairs dating site, both of whom wanted no-strings-attached sex, so it gets the thumbs up from me. 

What does It cost?

  • 1 month – $20
  • 3 months – $40
  • 12 months – $120 


  • Millions of active users
  • Lots of useful features, such as a Sex Academy  
  • Live model shows 


  • Fairly lengthy sign-up process

7. Illicit Encounters

Illicit Encounters

Illicit Encounters is a UK-based dating site aimed at cheating men and women. It’s home to more than a million active users, and it’s been around since 2003. 

How does It work?

Women can send and receive messages for free, but men have to upgrade to a paid membership to do the same. Signing up takes around 10 minutes at the most.

Once you’re all signed up and have chosen a membership type, you’ll find that most of the members are aged between 30 and 55. Many of them are disillusioned with their current life and want a bit of fun, although some are widowed or separated.  

Sending messages is easy but uploading a photo isn’t mandatory. As such, you might have a hard time figuring out who is genuine and who is fake. Features include Virtual Kisses and virtual gifts. 

My Experience

Illicit Encounters requires patience because of the fact that you don’t have to upload a photo of any kind. However, once you’ve chosen a few members you like the look of, you can add them to your Favourites list and message them whenever you want.

I broke the ice with a few virtual gifts but I found the easiest way to succeed here is to just send a direct opening message. Not everyone will respond, and there are a lot of fake profiles. But if you write out a decent About Me paragraph and tweak your search filters, it’s possible to make a connection with someone before meeting up. 

What does It cost?

  • 1 month of Gold membership – $150
  • 2 months of Gold Plus membership – $90 per month
  • 1 month of Gold Plus membership – $200 per month


  • High user base
  • Attractive layout 
  • Useful features 


  • Fake profiles 
  • Expensive 

FAQs About Dating Sites For Married People

  • What Is An Affair Dating Site?

    An affair dating site is aimed specifically at cheating couples. It’s discreet and usually allows you to blur your pics (or not add any at all). People who use them are typically looking for something casual, short-term, or – occasionally – they want a friend with benefits. 

  • How Does An Affair Dating Site Differ From Other Dating Sites?

    These discreet dating websites are different from popular dating sites because here you don't usually find singes. Here, you don’t need to worry that a user will either judge you (or block or report you) for wanting an affair, in the same way, that they might on a dating site like Tinder.

  • Are Married Dating Websites Safe To Use?

    All the casual dating sites in our guide are safe to use. They all have security certificates, and they all take your privacy seriously. Each one is discreet and you can be sure there is no risk of your details being leaked. However, if you decide to sign up for a dating site not listed in this guide, make sure to verify its security settings first. 

  • Where Can I Meet My Affair Partner? 

    A neutral, relaxed venue like a coffee shop is always a good idea because it’s where friends go to meet up each and every day. It’s completely non-suspicious. A restaurant is a good second choice if you’ve made a genuine connection with someone, whilst a bar is the number one choice if you’re looking to have sex that evening. 

The Scoop:

Having an affair used to be so hard. In 2020, you don’t need to grow depressed at the state of your relationship and look on with envy at people who are enjoying red hot, passionate sex. All you need to do is pick the right dating site and see who’s out there. Then, you can have all the guilt-free, no-strings-attached sex you want. 

Hopefully, you’ve got a better idea of which site is the right one for you. The next step is to take a closer look at the ones you like the look of, create an account – and start flirting. 

If you're a couple looking to hookup with another couple then check out these best swinger sites.