When it feels as though the fires of your long term relationship are cooling, it can be easy to think that either one of you or both of you have lost all interest. The romance has gone, the intimacy has gone – and your feelings are slipping away.
However, all is not lost yet. As long as there's still love between the two of you, the fire in your relationship can be lit again – and it can grow and grow just as before.
What's needed at this stage is a way to rebuild your emotional and intimate connection in ways that feel new, fresh, and exciting. It's almost as though you have to start all over again, recapturing those early stages of your relationship when you felt alive with love and passion.
You need to reconnect physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
In this article, we look at the best intimate ideas for couples looking to rekindle their relationship.
Intimate Ideas For Couples To Rekindle Their Relationship
1. Be Open And Honest
Before you try anything else, the first step to rekindling a relationship is being open and honest about your feelings.
How do you feel right now?
Do you feel unloved, unwanted, and unneeded?
Do you feel you're in a broken relationship or you're heading for a broke relationship?
If so, share these thoughts with your partner. Communicate with them and let them know everything. Listen to what they have to say, too. It's only by communicating that you can move on to the next step together and do what it takes to create more intimacy.
2. Hold Hands More Often
Did you know that whenever you touch your partner's skin – either via a hug, a cuddle, a caress, or even just holding hands – you both experience a release of oxytocin that makes you feel calm, relaxed, and attracted to the other person?
This is science-based stuff that works. So, don't neglect the power of physical touch.
Think back to any time you've held hands with someone. You likely felt safe, comforted, and drawn to the other person. A bond quickly develops.
When we've been in a relationship for a while with someone, and especially when the intimacy levels seem to have dropped, it's easy to forget the joy we first felt when it came to doing the simple things, such as holding hands. Maybe you rarely hold hands at all now. So why not start it up again?
Hold hands more during walk, on a trip out, to the cinema, grocery store, or a restaurant. Doing it more often will calm your stress hormone while changing the way you feel about your partner for the better.
3. Plan Regular Date Nights
A date night is very important; it acts as a relationship booster. Since couples get to communicate and spend alone time with each other, it naturally strengths their relationship for long haul.
A report published by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia proposed that date nights are an important way for couples to spend some much-needed time by themselves. The study found that, couples that devote their time to each other at least once a week, get to enjoy high-quality relationships, sexual satisfaction, commitment, and lower divorce rates.
So, don't neglect the power of a date night just because your relationship is out of honeymoon phase. It doesn't have to be a perfect, fancy, and expensive one.
4. Make Love To Your Partner Not Just Sex
It might be the case (although it also might not be) that the reason intimacy has dropped off in your long term relationship is that you're having sex with your partner – but you're not making love to them.
Understanding the difference and focusing on making love to your partner can help rekindle romance by increasing the emotional ties between you.
5. Share Fantasies
One of the reasons many couples don't share their sexual kinks or fetishes with each other is generally because they don't think they're “very good at it.”
If that's the case with you, it's time to practice.
Because sharing fantasies is one of the best ways to paint pictures in your partner's mind while at the same time building insane levels of sexual anticipation and excitement.
For instance, you could stare into your partner's eyes and describe exactly what you want to do to them later that week. You could tell them – slowly and almost at a whisper – in great detail how the sex will play out. Describe the location and what you're both wearing. Describe how sex will start, what will happen next, and how it will end.
Use sexually charged, erotic words, and don't be afraid to hold back. Be as explicit as you want to be. Your goal is to make them desire you by trying something new together. Create scenarios where the two of you can have sex that perhaps you haven't yet tried – elevators, mansions, balconies, changing rooms, and so on.
6. Spend More Time Together
It's hard to achieve sexual intimacy with someone when we spend less time with them. If the two of you are working lots and have your own separate professional lives, you must create schedules that allow you to spend more time together.
Spending more time with your partner allows the two of you to properly reconnect and experience the emotions that first brought you together and sparked that initial sexual interest. You'll have more time to flirt, more time to talk, more time to look into each other's eyes, more time to share thoughts and fantasies, and more time to just generally enjoy each other's company so that intimacy is ramped up.
7. Plan a Getaway!
When the two of you are at home doing your things – working, seeing friends, and so on – it's these things that take you away from them.
However, when you plan a getaway, you're together without any distractions. It's just the two of you in a hotel, a lodge, a cottage, a tent – wherever you desire. There are no friends to pull either of you away from one another, no work to do. It's just you two with one on one time.
So plan a getaway. It doesn't have to be a dream getaway, and it doesn't even need to be expensive. But it should be somewhere romantic and suitably far enough away from home so that you're both spending time somewhere new that allows you to rekindle your relationship.
After all, newness is one of the most important factors when we're getting to know someone else for the first time. The newness allows us to build up an emotional connection, stoke the flames of sexual anticipation, and eventually achieve intimacy. If the two of you are bored of your surroundings and need something different, take a trip.
8. Surprise Each Other
When we stop surprising our partner in the bedroom, sameness becomes the norm. And when sameness becomes the norm, predictability takes over – and boredom sets in.
From there, intimacy cools. We know what to expect, and the routine grows dull and makes us feel colder towards our partner – and unwanted by them.
If you've forgotten all about the powerful nature of surprises, it's time to rekindle your love affair with them.
A surprise doesn't have to be a grand gesture. It can be anything you haven't done (or never done) and which catches them by surprise, but in a good way.
For instance, if the two of you haven't showered together for a long time, you could surprise them by following them into the shower one time.
Or, you could go over to them and cuddle them when they least expect it.
Your surprises can be physical, but they can also be emotional. It can be little things, such as telling them how much they mean to you or whispering pleasant thoughts in their ear while they're reading a book.
9. Start Sexting
Never sexted your partner before?
Now might be the time to do it.
Sexting doesn't have to be naughty, dirty, and downright filthy – but it always helps if it is!
The thing with sexting is that it's not always meant to be realistic. Instead, it's a way of exciting your partner and showing them how much you want them.
For instance, you could sext them while they're at work, telling them what you're up to right now – how you're thinking of them as you're getting undressed, and how it's making you super horny.
You could also sext them exactly what you want to do to them when they get home.
Sexting is raunchy, it's great fun, and it's one of the easiest ways to spice up your sex life and rekindle your relationship.
You can read this article to learn how to sext.
10. Learn More About Sex
Maybe you thought you already knew all there was to know about sex?
It could be that your sex life has cooled recently because you've not been experimenting in the bedroom enough.
Learn all about the sex again. You can introduce kinky sex toys to your sex life and it might reignite passion.
Read articles by sex experts and see if you can discover new moves, techniques, and ideas.
You can read this article to find some new Kinky Sex Ideas To Spice-Up Your Sex Life
11. Hold Each Other & Dance Together
Some couples grow apart when one of their sex drives drops. When one of them loses interest in sex, it's assumed that all intimacy should be out of bounds for a while.
In a sense, this is a natural reaction. If we feel we're not desired anymore, it's easy to create a distance between ourselves and our partner.
But there's so much that can be said for just holding one another. In many ways, simply holding each other – cuddling, embracing – is better than sex right now if you want to rekindle romance. It will help bring the two of you together, create room for more physical affection, and even lead to sex.
The other great way is to dance together. Hold your spouse's hand and start to do a slow dance. You'll see good old memories start to unleash. The emotions will start to surface which will instantly arouse “feel-loved” feeling.
So if you've not held your partner for a while, do so. Lie in bed or on the couch together, falling asleep in each other's arms and whispering sweet nothings in their ear.
12. Kiss More!
Lastly, there's a lot to be said for just kissing your partner more often. Kissing doesn't always need to lead to sex. Kissing triggers happy hormones in us, makes us feel closer to the person we're kissing and helps to create an emotional and intimate bond.
Don't wait for the right moment to kiss your partner. Kiss them when you feel like it. Kiss them in the morning, in the evening. Kiss them outside, kiss them in the shower. Surprise them with a kiss while they're working!
Don't think about it – just do it.
These are 11 intimate ideas for couples looking to rekindle their relationship. Once you start trying new things, you will find that your sex life becomes more emotional, more intimate, and more loving. That said, it's important to take your time – don't rush things, don't force things, and don't try to do everything all at the same time. Start with one or two ideas, experiment, see how it feels, and go from there.