Here’s the funny thing about Tinder: Whilst there are thousands of potential matches living in your vicinity, actually getting them to reply can be really tricky.
Why?
It’s basic supply and demand stuff.
If you’re a guy looking to start a conversation with a girl, the girl already has hundreds of matches wanting to talk to her too. To stand out, your first Tinder message needs to be good.
And if it isn’t, you’ve gotta hope your bio and pics are strong enough to pull you through.
The reality, though, is that girls tend to ignore matches altogether if their icebreaker game is weak.
I get it. It’s a tough hurdle. What do you say that will guarantee a response?
The good news is that I’ve been using Tinder for over 5 years now. Not just that, but I’ve dug deep into the data, and ran experiments and I know what works and what doesn’t work.
In this guide, I want to share with you a whole bunch of examples that work. I’ll explain why they work and what you need to do next.
Ready? Let’s make a start.
9 Types of First Tinder Messages That Work
Type #1: Send them a Photo Compliment with a Question
Here’s the thing with this one: Girls (and guys) don’t tend to like it when you simply complement their photo. If you just say “wow, you’re cute!” it won’t net you a reply.
In fact, most times the girl will just think you’re a bit of a creep and no-hoper who probably just wants to get in her pants.
BUT …
If you compliment their photo and back it up with a question, you’re onto a winner.
Here are some first message examples:
“Damn your outfits are straight fire. You got a fashion guru living in your house or something?”
“Love your dogs! What are their names?”
“Where was that photo taken? I recognize that place! It looks lovely.”
“Your hair is literally the bomb in that pic. Mind if I ask what conditioner you use?”
“Haha, you look like you’re having so much fun in that pic. Am I to assume you’re always a bundle of laughs?”
Type #2: Send them a combo of casual Hello and a Question
The best time to use the casual hello and question as an opener is when your match hasn’t written too much in her bio and you’re not sure what else to say. And because you’re saying more than just “hey,” you’re increasing the chances that she’ll actually reply.
Here are the first message examples:
“Hey, are you having a good day?”
“Hi, thanks for matching! You up to much this weekend?”
“Yo, how’s it going?”
“TGIF! Looking forward to the weekend?”
“Hello! Okay, so we managed to get the matching bit outta the way. Fancy chatting?”
Type #3: Send them Something Funny
If you were to ask me what type of Tinder openers I prefer, it’s ALWAYS the funny opener.
But there’s a disclaimer …
You must only use them if you’re a naturally funny, witty person who’s always got a few one-liners to hand.
Why?
Because if you’re not a funny person but you open with something funny anyway (or, at least, something you think is funny), you’ll find it impossible to keep the conversation going in a humorous direction.
Instead, it will fall flat very quickly and you may end up saying more stuff that isn’t funny at all.
And if they’re having a bad day and you come along with a super funny opening Tinder message, there’s every chance they’ll reply.
Here are some first message examples:
“Hey, here I am! What other two wishes did you ask?”
“Damn this is the only time I’ve ever wished I was cross-eyed! Cause I wanna see you twice.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight – or should we match a second time?”
“Did you come straight out of the oven onto Tinder? I only ask because you’re so hot.”
“Damn you’re everything I’ve been searching for. I don’t even need to use Google anymore!”
Type #4: Send them something flirty
What is Tinder for if not for flirting?
“Exactly! So shouldn’t I always use a flirty opener?”
The thing with Tinder is that it’s easy to assume you should dive straight into a bit of flirting with your match.
But it doesn’t always work like that.
While flirting is fun, and while I definitely recommend that you try it, it won’t always work.
Why?
Because it really depends on two things:
- How good you are at flirting
- How receptive the other person will be to your instant flirting
See, there are different types of people on Tinder and you can usually tell how receptive an individual will be to your flirting just by checking their profile. Is it sexually charged? In other words, do they have suggestive photos of themselves in revealing skirts and dresses? Is their bio fun and flirty? Have they added emojis?
If so, you can definitely try flirting with that person.
On the other hand, if your match has put a bit more effort into their bio and says they’re looking for something serious, it might not work to flirt straight away.
Basically, to use a well-worn phrase, you’ve just gotta “read the room.”
Here are some first message examples:
“Reckon we’re a match made in heaven?”
“Hey cutie, describe your dream kiss in 3 emojis.”
“Your last 3 matches (including me) – who would you fuck, marry, or avoid?”
“Wow. Your dog is so cute! Is he/she jealous of newcomers?”
“Swiped right for your first pic. But are you adventurous?”
Type #5: Questions Them Something From Their Profile Info
Naturally, the possibility of using this one lies squarely on whether or not your match even has anything in their profile except one or two pics.
If they’ve got some information that you can work with, such as a list of interests, an interesting fact, or even a really cool and unique picture, I definitely recommend experimenting with it.
Why?
Because asking your match a question about their profile info shows that you’re taking an interest in them.
Instead of pasting some generic questions you’ve already asked hundreds of other girls, you’ve taken the time to look at their profiles and come up with something unique.
And honestly – girls love that sort of thing.
Of course, there is a problem, and it’s this: It’s very easy to ask the exact same question someone else has already asked many times before.
For example, let’s say a girl has uploaded a pic of them cuddling their dog. As a result, they’ve received multiple questions along the lines of, “awww, your dog is so cute! What’s he/she called?”
To stand out, then, you have to be a bit more creative and ask something a little bit left field.
Here are some first message examples:
“Damn, I’ve never heard of that type of job before! It means you’re a spy, right? I’m calling it.”
“Oh wow, I’ve heard a lot of good things about that school you went to. But does this mean you’re probably insanely smarter than me?!”
“Oh cool, we live in the same area! Have you lived here all your life?”
“We travel to the same places! Which is your favorite country so far that you’ve visited?”
“Ah, a gin lover, a girl after my own heart. I’ll tell you my favorite type of gin if you tell me yours?!”
Type #6: Dog/Cat Pick-up Lines
Let’s be honest – most people are suckers for cats and dogs.
And girls on Tinder will literally melt if you can nail a good dog/cat pickup line.
Why do dog/cat pickups lines work so well?
For one thing, you’re relating to a common interest (by the way, you must only use this type of opener if your match has dogs or cats in their profile. If they don’t, you’re probably going to look a little weird).
For another, you’re hitting them with something different.
Where most guys will start off with cheesy Tinder pickup lines that everyone has heard before, you’re going to be a little bit smoother.
And the thing with dog/cat pickup lines is that there’s so much you can do with them. I’m going to list 5 here but you should totally experiment with your own and see what you can come up with.
The main things to remember are that it’s okay to be a little cheesy, but you must never ever say something offensive.
Here are some first message examples:
“Damn, you and your cat are just purrrrrfect.”
“I matched with you and instantly felt a connection. Are you feline it too?”
“I never used to like dogs that much but since matching with you I wanna go to the bark side.”
“OMG what an adorable profile, I wanna pet both of you! But I’m okay with just petting your dog.”
“I think we’ve got real pet-tential here, what do you think?”
Type #7: Ask Them These open-ended Questions
The thing with Tinder is that, aside from all the singles who are using it for a bit of fun or even just to pass the time, there are LOTS of people who take it seriously.
And it’s these people who would welcome an opener in the form of a question from you.
For example, check this one out:
“What’s the best advice anyone has ever given you?”
I personally love this, and I’ve used it many times myself. It works because it gets people thinking. It’s guaranteed to draw an interesting answer from which the two of you can build a proper conversation.
“What excites you most about the future?”
Now, some people would say that these types of questions are too deep to ask straight off the bat. But that’s okay – these questions aren’t for them.
On the flip side, I know many serious daters who use Tinder and who yearn for these types of questions. As well as drawing out interesting answers and getting a conversation rolling, these also help the two of you to filter out unsuitable matches.
For example, let’s say you ask this question:
“What’s a dealbreaker for you in a relationship?”
And let’s say that their answer doesn’t match your values. As such, you know that this person isn’t for you. It saves you a heck of a lot of time getting to know them.
Here are two more examples:
“Are you good in the kitchen? If so, what’s your go-to meal?”
“If you won a million dollars, how would you spend it?”
Type #8: The Typo Jokes
If you’re looking to break the ice with a bit of humor on Tinder, I definitely recommend you try a few typo jokes. They make for great Tinder icebreakers.
What is a typo joke?
A typo joke looks like this:
“If I had a nickel for every typo I made on Tinder … I’d probably have more than 5 senses.”
Why does this type of joke work?
Well, simply because it’s cheesy and funny!
And as we all know, girls LOVE a guy who can make her laugh.
Here’s another example of a typo joke:
“Damn, why do I always make so many typos on Tinder? Because I’m Russian.”
Another reason the typo joke works really well on Tinder is because it’s inoffensive.
It also reminds girls of dad jokes, and here’s the thing: While girls might not admit it, they secretly can’t get enough dad jokes.
Typo jokes are also non-suggestive, they’re not rude and they don’t come across too strong too early.
Moreover, they suggest that you’ve got a really fun personality and they say to the girl, “this would probably be really fun to chat with!”
Here are 3 more examples:
“I never understand how people can make typos in their Tinder bio! Don’t they proofread first?”
“Hey, pleased to sleet you! I promise not every message will contain a typo.”
“I make so many typos that I sometimes wonder if I should still be using Tinder. But you seem like such a cool person that I had to message you! I just hope I haven’t ruined my first text.”
Type #9: The Vegan Card
One of the biggest dating app trends in recent times is saying that you’re a vegan in your profile.
In fact, I’d say that along with “Netflix” and “gym,”, “vegan” is one of the most common interests listed in someone’s bio.
There is, of course, nothing wrong with listing that we’re a vegan in our profile. And if it helps us match with someone who shares our values, so much the better.
But then what about opening with a message that refers to someone’s veganism? Should you do it or not?
You totally should!
Vegan pickup lines are not only funny, but they’re also very different.
Naturally, the only time you should use them is when your match has already stated that they’re a vegan. And you should probably only use them if you’re a vegan, too.
With that in mind, here are some examples that are rife with innuendos:
“Hey, I see that you’re a vegan. I’m a vegan too, but surely you wouldn’t say no to a bit of meat? ;)”
“Fancy stuffing me like a tofurkey?”
“I would love to give you a kiss tofu.”
“If you try my zucchini, fancy letting me eat your peach?”
“I know you hate meat but I’ve got some meat you shouldn’t ever feel guilty for eating.”
I won’t lie – all these examples are risque. But if the girl has a sexually charged profile and is clearly looking for some fun, there’s no reason why these clever vegan openers won’t work.