Breakups are tough. They can feel like the ground has been ripped out from under you, leaving you with that sinking feeling that you’ll never be able to stop missing them. You know it’s time to move on, but how do you actually heal from the emotional rollercoaster? If you're currently dealing with a breakup and the ache of missing your ex, you're not alone, and there are definitely ways to make the healing process a little smoother.
This article is here to guide you through the process, step by step, with practical tips and relatable advice that can help you get back to your happy, independent self. Let’s dive into how you can stop missing them and truly heal after a breakup.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings – It’s Okay to Feel Crappy
The first thing you need to do is give yourself permission to feel. It's normal to feel sad, angry, confused, or even relieved after a breakup. Many people think they should “move on” immediately, but emotions take time to process. Denying your feelings only makes them stronger and more difficult to manage.
Pro Tip: Keep a journal where you can express your thoughts without any judgment. Writing things down can help clear your mind and understand why you're feeling a certain way.
2. Cut Off Contact – Ghosting Can Be Healing Too
One of the most important things you can do to stop missing your ex is to cut off contact for a while. This can mean unfollowing them on social media, deleting their number, or even asking mutual friends to give you some space. This might feel extreme at first, but it allows you to detach and focus on yourself.
Example: Picture this: You’re trying to move on, but you keep seeing their cute dog pictures on Instagram. It’s like an emotional trap! Cutting out these reminders helps your brain get used to the idea that they’re no longer part of your day-to-day life.
3. Create a Breakup Playlist – Music is a Healer
Music has this magical way of soothing a broken heart. Create a breakup playlist with songs that help you cry it out, dance it out, or simply distract you when you're feeling down.
Pro Tip: Don’t listen to the sad songs for too long! Mix in some upbeat tunes to lift your mood and remind yourself that you are worth celebrating.
4. Start New Hobbies – Embrace the ‘You’ Time
Now’s your chance to focus on yourself. Pick up an old hobby you’ve forgotten about or try something completely new. Whether it’s painting, hiking, or learning how to bake the world’s most complicated cake, doing something that makes you feel good will help distract your mind and rebuild your sense of self.
Example: Let’s say you’ve always wanted to try yoga but never did because you were too busy with them. Now’s the perfect time to roll out your mat and find your inner zen. Not only will it help you heal, but you might discover a passion you never expected.
5. Lean on Your Friends – They’re Your Real MVPs
A breakup is hard, but your friends are the unsung heroes who’ll help you through it. Whether it’s binge-watching shows together, having heart-to-heart talks, or just going out to take your mind off things, your support system is essential.
Pro Tip: Reach out to a friend you haven’t connected with in a while. Not only will you catch up, but it will remind you that there are plenty of people who care about you.
6. Take Care of Your Body – Get Moving, Get Healthy
Physical exercise is an underrated but highly effective way to speed up emotional healing. Exercise releases endorphins, the “feel-good” hormones, that naturally lift your mood. You don’t have to run a marathon, but getting out for a walk, doing a home workout, or taking a dance class can make a world of difference.
Example: Remember how after every breakup, there’s a friend who starts running? Well, it works! Running clears the mind and can make you feel like you’ve got control over something when everything else feels out of whack.
7. Let Yourself Cry – It’s the Best Emotional Detox
Crying isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a way your body releases pent-up emotions. So go ahead—watch those sad movies, listen to that sad song, and let the tears flow. You’ll feel lighter afterward, and your heart will gradually start to heal.
Pro Tip: Don’t fight the tears. Embrace them! A good cry is like taking out the trash—afterward, everything’s cleaner and better.
8. Avoid Rebounding – Give Yourself Time to Heal
While it may be tempting to jump into a new relationship as a way to forget your ex, it's important to take a break and focus on healing first. Rushing into a rebound relationship might just prolong your emotional recovery.
Pro Tip: Take this time to build a stronger connection with yourself before you consider dating again. You'll come out of the breakup as a stronger and more self-aware individual.
9. Declutter Your Space – A Fresh Start Begins at Home
Your environment can have a huge impact on your mood. If your space is filled with reminders of your ex—photos, gifts, or even their hoodie—it's time to make some changes. Declutter your space to make it feel fresh and new. It’s symbolic of your emotional reset.
Example: Take their stuff and put it in a box (or, if you’re ready, send it back). Rearranging your furniture or adding something new to your space can also help create a new vibe.
10. Focus on Your Goals – Get Back to Your Ambitions
Breakups can throw you off track, but they can also be an opportunity to focus on your goals. Whether it’s professional growth, personal development, or just getting back in touch with your passions, use this time to make progress on things you care about.
Pro Tip: Set small, achievable goals for yourself. Each accomplishment will help you feel better and give you a sense of pride.
11. Embrace Solitude – Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company
Being alone after a breakup can feel intimidating, but it’s actually a valuable time for self-reflection and growth. Spend time alone doing things you enjoy, and get comfortable in your own company. You’ll start to appreciate your independence and realize that you don’t need a relationship to feel fulfilled.
12. Avoid the “What Ifs” – Let Go of Regret
It’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of thinking about “what if” scenarios. What if you had done things differently? What if they were the one? But here’s the thing: those thoughts will keep you stuck. Instead, focus on what you can control—your actions moving forward.
Pro Tip: Practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that you did the best you could with the information you had at the time.
13. Give Yourself Time – Healing Doesn’t Happen Overnight
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is emotional healing. Give yourself time to process the breakup and stop expecting instant results. Healing takes time, and that’s perfectly okay.
Example: Think of healing like growing a garden. At first, it looks barren, but with care, patience, and time, it will bloom again.
14. Don’t Rush Into Dating Again – Let Time Do Its Magic
While you may feel the urge to “get back out there,” it’s important not to rush into dating again just to fill the void. Take time to get to know yourself again and figure out what you truly want in a partner.
Pro Tip: Consider waiting a few months to date. This will allow you to enter future relationships with a clear mind and a healed heart.
15. Get Professional Help – Therapy Isn’t Just for “Big” Problems
If you’re struggling to move on, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor. They can help you navigate your feelings and offer techniques to help you heal. There's no shame in seeking help when you need it.
16. Reframe the Breakup – See It as a New Beginning
A breakup doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It can actually be the start of something new and exciting. This is your chance to reinvent yourself, meet new people, and grow in ways you never imagined.
Example: Think of it like spring cleaning. After all the mess, you have a fresh, new space to grow.
Conclusion: You’ve Got This!
Healing after a breakup isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely possible. With the right mindset, patience, and a little help from your friends (and maybe a few tears), you will move forward stronger than before. The key is to focus on yourself and embrace the opportunity for personal growth.
Remember: It’s okay to miss them. But it’s also okay to move on and create a life that’s even better than before. Keep these tips in mind, and trust that better things are on the horizon for you!