Have you ever worked with someone who always makes everything about themselves, takes credit for your hard work, and somehow turns every conversation into a monologue about their greatness? Congratulations! You might be dealing with a narcissist at work.
Navigating a professional relationship with a narcissist can feel like walking through a minefield—one wrong step, and BOOM! You’re caught in unnecessary drama, frustration, and self-doubt. But don’t worry! You can keep your sanity and career intact by avoiding these costly mistakes. Let’s dive in!
1. Expecting Empathy from Them
Narcissists aren’t known for their warm and fuzzy side. If you’re hoping they’ll notice you’re stressed and offer a helping hand, you might be waiting forever. They see the world through a lens where their needs, opinions, and achievements are the center of the universe.
Instead of expecting them to care about your struggles, focus on managing your own emotions. If you need support, seek it from colleagues or friends who actually have a heart.
2. Trying to Change Them
Spoiler alert: You can’t. No amount of reasoning, feedback, or heartfelt conversations will make them suddenly realize, Oh wow, I’ve been so selfish! I should change my ways! It just doesn’t happen.
Trying to change a narcissist will only drain your energy and leave you feeling frustrated. Accept that they are who they are, and shift your focus to managing how you interact with them.
3. Taking Their Behavior Personally
A narcissist’s actions are rarely about you—they’re about them. When they dismiss your ideas, belittle your efforts, or ignore your input, it’s not a reflection of your worth or abilities.
It’s their way of maintaining control and feeding their ego. Remind yourself: This is their issue, not mine. Create a mental barrier that keeps their negativity from affecting your self-confidence.
4. Engaging in Power Struggles
Trying to “win” against a narcissist is like wrestling with a pig—you both get dirty, but the pig enjoys it. They thrive on conflict, manipulation, and always being “right.”
Instead of butting heads, choose your battles wisely. If the issue isn’t crucial, let it go. When you do need to stand your ground, keep your arguments factual and unemotional.
5. Oversharing Personal Information
Narcissists can be charming when they want to be, making it tempting to open up about your personal life. But beware—any personal details you share can be weaponized later.
If you confide in them about a tough time you’re going through, don’t be surprised if they later twist it into gossip or use it against you. Keep conversations professional and neutral.
6. Expecting Fairness
If you assume a narcissist will play fair, you’re in for a rude awakening. They love to take credit for others’ work, shift blame when things go wrong, and manipulate situations to their advantage.
The best way to protect yourself? Keep records of your contributions. Save emails, document meetings, and make sure your hard work is recognized by the right people.
7. Reacting Emotionally
Narcissists feed off emotional reactions. If they sense they can provoke you, they’ll keep doing it. The more frustrated or upset you get, the more power they feel they have over you.
Practice the art of the neutral response. When they try to push your buttons, stay calm, composed, and unbothered. Think of it as a game—your goal is to give them nothing to latch onto.
8. Letting Them Drain Your Energy
A narcissist’s constant need for attention, validation, and drama can be exhausting. If you’re not careful, they’ll drain your mental and emotional energy without a second thought.
Set clear boundaries to protect yourself. If they constantly interrupt your work, excuse yourself. If they dump their problems on you, redirect the conversation. Your well-being comes first.
9. Expecting Them to Take Responsibility
One of the narcissist’s favorite hobbies is dodging accountability. They are masters at shifting blame, making excuses, and rewriting history to paint themselves as the victim.
Instead of wasting energy trying to make them admit fault, focus on solutions. If they mess up a project, document the facts and involve the necessary people. Let reality speak for itself.
10. Believing Their Promises
Narcissists love making grand promises—whether it’s about promotions, collaborations, or support. But their words often mean little, and their promises rarely hold up.
If a narcissist makes you a big promise, take it with a grain of salt. Trust actions, not words. If something is important, get it in writing.
11. Giving Them Undeserved Praise
Flattery can sometimes smooth interactions with a narcissist, but don’t overdo it. Feeding their ego excessively can make them feel even more entitled and manipulative.
Instead, keep praise specific and professional. “That was a well-organized presentation” is fine. “You’re a genius and the best leader ever” is pushing it.
12. Expecting Them to Be a Team Player
A narcissist doesn’t see teamwork the same way normal people do. They’ll either try to take all the credit or avoid responsibility when things get tough.
Manage your expectations and be strategic in group projects. If possible, clarify roles and responsibilities in writing to prevent them from shifting blame later.
13. Ignoring Their Manipulation Tactics
Narcissists use a range of tactics to get what they want—gaslighting, guilt-tripping, playing the victim, and more. Recognizing these tactics is key to not falling for them.
If they twist the truth, call it out with facts. If they guilt-trip you, don’t engage. Stay aware and stand your ground.
14. Being Too Available
The more available you are to a narcissist, the more they will take advantage of you. They’ll assume you’re always on call for their needs, regardless of your own workload.
Create firm boundaries around your time. If they constantly pull you into unnecessary conversations, politely excuse yourself. If they email you at odd hours, respond at a reasonable time.
15. Thinking You Can “Win” Against Them
If your goal is to outsmart, outshine, or “win” against a narcissist, you’re playing the wrong game. They have years of experience manipulating people, and their ego will never let them admit defeat.
Instead, redefine winning. Winning means maintaining your peace, focusing on your goals, and not getting sucked into their drama. That’s real success.
16. Not Having an Exit Plan
If your work environment is toxic because of a narcissist and it’s affecting your mental health, start planning your next steps. While it’s not always possible to leave immediately, having an exit strategy can be empowering.
Update your resume, expand your network, and explore better opportunities. No job is worth your peace of mind.
Final Thoughts: Keep Your Power
Dealing with a narcissist at work isn’t easy, but you have more control than you think. By avoiding these mistakes, setting boundaries, and protecting your energy, you can keep their toxicity from dragging you down.
At the end of the day, the best way to “win” with a narcissist is not to play their game. Stay focused on your goals, take care of yourself, and remember—you are not responsible for managing their ego. You’ve got this!