Imagine this: You’re in an argument with someone, and suddenly, they tell you, “That never happened,” even though you remember it clearly. Or they insist, “You’re too sensitive,” making you second-guess your emotions. Slowly, you begin to doubt your own mind, your memory, and even your sanity.
Welcome to the world of gaslighting, a psychological manipulation tactic that narcissists use to gain power over you. It’s not just a casual lie here or there—it’s a calculated, long-term strategy designed to make you question reality.
In this blog, we’ll break down the gaslighting games narcissists play, the signs you should watch out for, and most importantly, how to break free from their grip.
What Is Gaslighting?
The term “gaslighting” comes from a 1944 film Gaslight, in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s losing her mind by dimming the gaslights in their home and then denying that anything has changed.
At its core, gaslighting is a form of psychological warfare. Narcissists use it to distort your perception of reality, making you easier to control. Whether it’s in romantic relationships, friendships, workplaces, or even families, gaslighting can have devastating effects.
The 7 Gaslighting Games Narcissists Play
1. “That Never Happened” – Denying Reality
One of the most common gaslighting tactics is outright denial. The narcissist will claim that something you know happened never actually occurred.
🙋♀️ Example:
You: “You yelled at me last night.”
Narcissist: “What? I never yelled at you. You’re making things up.”
👉 Why they do it: To make you doubt your memory and make themselves look innocent.
2. “You’re Too Sensitive” – Minimizing Your Feelings
Whenever you express emotions, a narcissist will dismiss them as irrational, dramatic, or an overreaction.
🙋♂️ Example:
You: “It hurt when you ignored me.”
Narcissist: “Oh my God, you’re so sensitive! I was just busy.”
👉 Why they do it: To make you feel like your emotions are invalid and train you to suppress them.
3. “Everyone Agrees With Me” – Using Others Against You
Narcissists love to claim that other people also think you’re wrong. This makes you feel isolated and ganged up on.
🙋♀️ Example:
“You’re the only one who thinks I’m wrong. Even your friends agree with me.”
👉 Why they do it: To create self-doubt and make you feel like the “crazy” one.
4. “You’re Imagining Things” – Distorting Facts
When you call out a narcissist on something they’ve done, they’ll twist the story so much that you begin to question if you saw things correctly.
🙋♂️ Example:
You: “I saw you texting your ex.”
Narcissist: “You’re imagining things. You’re paranoid!”
👉 Why they do it: To make you question your own perception of reality.
5. “Look What You Made Me Do” – Blaming You for Their Actions
Rather than taking responsibility, a narcissist will turn the blame onto you. Suddenly, everything becomes your fault.
🙋♀️ Example:
Narcissist: “I wouldn’t have yelled if you hadn’t annoyed me.”
👉 Why they do it: To make you feel guilty and responsible for their toxic behavior.
6. “I Was Just Joking” – Hiding Insults as Humor
Narcissists love to disguise their criticism and insults as jokes. If you call them out, they’ll accuse you of being humorless.
🙋♂️ Example:
Narcissist: “Wow, you really don’t know how to cook, do you? Haha, just joking!”
👉 Why they do it: So they can insult you without accountability.
7. “You’re Lucky to Have Me” – Creating Dependency
Narcissists will make you feel like no one else would love you, trapping you in the relationship.
🙋♀️ Example:
Narcissist: “No one else would put up with you like I do.”
👉 Why they do it: To destroy your self-esteem so that you never leave them.
How to Know If You're Being Gaslit
Here are some red flags that indicate you might be experiencing gaslighting:
✅ You constantly second-guess yourself.
✅ You feel like you’re “going crazy.”
✅ You apologize excessively, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
✅ You feel like you can’t trust your own memory.
✅ You feel isolated from friends and family.
✅ You make excuses for the narcissist’s behavior.
✅ You feel anxious or confused around them.
If these signs sound familiar, you’re not alone. Gaslighting is emotional abuse, and it’s not your fault.
How to Protect Yourself from Gaslighting
1️⃣ Trust Your Gut
If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t ignore your instincts.
2️⃣ Keep a Record
Write down conversations, save texts, and keep track of what really happened. This can help you stay grounded in reality.
3️⃣ Set Boundaries
Gaslighters hate boundaries, but you need them. If they start manipulating you, say:
🚫 “I won’t continue this conversation if you keep dismissing my feelings.”
4️⃣ Seek Outside Support
Talk to trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Gaslighters thrive on isolation, so reconnect with people who uplift you.
5️⃣ Avoid Defending Yourself Too Much
Narcissists will twist your words in endless arguments. Instead, try gray rocking—responding with short, neutral phrases to shut down their manipulation.
6️⃣ Rebuild Your Confidence
The more you trust yourself, the less power they have over you. Do things that make you feel strong, capable, and independent.
7️⃣ Walk Away
If possible, cut off the narcissist completely. You deserve a life free from manipulation.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Crazy, They Are Manipulative
Gaslighting is a sneaky, dangerous form of psychological control. Narcissists use it to keep you confused, dependent, and doubting yourself. But the truth is:
🔥 You’re NOT crazy.
🔥 You’re NOT overreacting.
🔥 You’re NOT imagining things.
You are being manipulated, and you deserve better. Recognizing gaslighting is the first step to breaking free. The next step? Choosing yourself, your peace, and your sanity.
Have you ever experienced gaslighting? Share your thoughts in the comments below! Let’s break the silence and take our power back.