Remember when social distancing became a thing? Everyone was asked to stay six feet apart, avoid gatherings, and wear masks. For some, this was a no-brainer—it was about keeping themselves and others safe. But then, there were those people. The ones who acted like the rules didn’t apply to them. The ones who threw house parties in the middle of a pandemic, walked into stores without masks like it was a personal statement, and rolled their eyes at people keeping their distance.
At first, it was easy to dismiss these people as rebellious or misinformed. But a deeper look reveals a pattern: many of them share a specific personality trait—narcissism.
So, why do narcissists defy social distancing? Is it just arrogance, or is there something more going on? Let’s dive into the psychology behind why some people think they’re too self-important to care.
The Narcissistic Mindset: “The Rules Don't Apply to Me”
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance. They believe they’re superior, special, and deserving of different treatment. When authorities or society put rules in place, a narcissist doesn’t see these as guidelines for everyone—they see them as limitations meant for other people.
Imagine a world where you genuinely believe you are more important than everyone else. You might think:
- “Why should I stay home when I have things to do?”
- “Social distancing is for weak people. I’m not weak.”
- “Wearing a mask makes me look ridiculous. I refuse.”
For narcissists, following rules—especially rules that require self-sacrifice—feels like an attack on their self-image. They don’t want to be seen as vulnerable or as someone who conforms to authority. Instead, they want to assert their dominance, even if it comes at the cost of public health.
Lack of Empathy: “Why Should I Care About Others?”
One of the defining traits of narcissism is a lack of empathy. Social distancing was never just about protecting oneself—it was about protecting the elderly, the immunocompromised, and frontline workers.
For most people, this was a compelling reason to stay home and follow the rules. But for narcissists? Not so much. Their mindset is often:
- “If I’m not at risk, why should I care?”
- “Other people’s health isn’t my problem.”
- “I don’t personally know anyone affected, so this doesn’t concern me.”
This inability to emotionally connect with the suffering of others makes it easy for narcissists to dismiss health guidelines. They don’t feel the collective responsibility that most people do, making it much easier for them to shrug off the rules.
The Attention-Seeking Factor: “Look at Me, Not the Pandemic”
Narcissists crave attention. They thrive on being the center of the universe. But during a global crisis, suddenly, all the attention is on something other than them—science, healthcare workers, and collective well-being. And they hate that.
So, how do narcissists bring the spotlight back to themselves? By rebelling against the very thing that’s stealing their thunder. You’ve probably seen them:
- The influencer throwing mask-free parties and posting it online.
- The business owner making dramatic speeches about how lockdowns are an attack on their freedom.
- The person who claims COVID is a hoax just to stir controversy.
By going against the grain, narcissists ensure they remain relevant in the conversation. Negative attention is still attention, after all.
Entitlement: “I Deserve Special Treatment”
Narcissists don’t just want special treatment—they expect it. The idea that they should have to follow the same restrictions as everyone else? Unthinkable.
This is why you see narcissistic behaviors like:
- Cutting in line for vaccines before their turn.
- Throwing tantrums when denied entry for not wearing a mask.
- Demanding that stores make exceptions for them.
To a narcissist, rules are obstacles that get in the way of their wants. They view restrictions as personal attacks rather than necessary precautions.
Denial and Delusions: “This Isn't Real”
Narcissists live in a world where they control the narrative. If reality doesn’t fit their version of events, they simply rewrite it.
During the pandemic, this meant:
- Denying the severity of the virus.
- Spreading conspiracy theories to justify their actions.
- Claiming that everyone was “overreacting” while people were dying.
For a narcissist, admitting that a crisis is bigger than them is terrifying. It shatters their illusion of control and superiority. So instead, they cling to delusions that allow them to maintain their self-image.
The Grandiose Need for Control
Another reason narcissists hate social distancing? It takes away their sense of control.
- They can’t control when businesses are open.
- They can’t control how others behave.
- They can’t control the fact that a microscopic virus doesn’t care about their ego.
For someone obsessed with power, this is a nightmare. To regain control, they lash out, rebel, and try to manipulate the situation to suit their needs.
What Can You Do About It?
So, how do you handle narcissists who refuse to follow social distancing rules? Here are a few strategies:
1. Don’t Engage in Arguments
Trying to reason with a narcissist is like talking to a brick wall—except the brick wall also thinks it’s smarter than you. Instead of arguing, set firm boundaries and remove yourself from their drama.
2. Protect Yourself
If you know someone who refuses to follow health guidelines, don’t take unnecessary risks to accommodate them. Your well-being comes first.
3. Avoid Enabling Behavior
Don’t reward their defiance by giving them attention. Narcissists thrive on reactions, so the less energy you give them, the less power they have.
4. Call Out Their Behavior (When Necessary)
If a narcissist’s actions put others at risk, it’s okay to speak up. Just be prepared for backlash—narcissists hate being challenged.
Final Thoughts: Why This Matters Beyond the Pandemic
While social distancing may no longer be a major issue, the behavior we saw during the pandemic was a wake-up call about narcissism in society.
- The entitlement.
- The lack of empathy.
- The desperate need for control.
These traits don’t just show up in crises—they’re present in workplaces, relationships, and politics. Recognizing narcissistic behavior isn’t just about surviving a pandemic—it’s about understanding who we share our world with and how to navigate their presence.
So the next time you see someone acting like they’re too important to care, remember—it’s not about logic. It’s about them.