Ever been on a walk with someone and noticed they’re always a few steps ahead, as if leading an invisible parade? Maybe it’s a date, a friend, or even a coworker—but no matter how fast you walk, they never quite slow down to match your pace. What gives?
Chances are, you’re dealing with a classic power move—one that narcissists love to pull. Walking ahead isn’t just about getting to the destination faster. It’s about dominance, control, and sending an unspoken message: I come first.
But don’t worry—you’re not imagining things, and you’re definitely not alone in feeling slightly annoyed (or completely baffled). Let’s break down why narcissists always walk ahead, what it really means, and how you can spot and handle this subtle manipulation like a pro.
1. The ‘Look at Me’ Effect
Narcissists thrive on attention. By walking ahead, they create the illusion that they are leading—literally and figuratively. They want you (and everyone else) to notice them first. It’s a small way of saying, “I’m important. Keep up if you want to be with me.”
Pro Tip: If you notice someone always placing themselves in the spotlight, pay attention to how they act in other situations. Do they interrupt conversations? Dominate group decisions? These are all signs of someone who craves control.
2. The Alpha Illusion
Some people (especially narcissists) believe that leaders walk in front. They may not say it out loud, but their body language screams: “I’m the alpha. Follow me.”
A friend once shared a story about her ex-boyfriend who never, ever let her walk beside him. It wasn’t an accident. He believed walking ahead made him look more powerful, as if he was the “leader of the pack.” The reality? It just made him look like a jerk.
Pro Tip: If someone constantly makes you feel like a follower in your own relationship, take a step back (figuratively and literally). Relationships should be about equality, not power plays.
3. The Ultimate Test of Submission
Walking ahead is also a way to test how much you’re willing to follow their lead—both physically and emotionally. If you naturally speed up to keep pace with them, they see it as a sign that you’re willing to adjust your needs for theirs.
This can extend beyond just walking. Think about:
- Always waiting for their texts first
- Letting them decide where to eat every time
- Rearranging your plans to accommodate theirs
These are all little signs they might be subtly training you to prioritize them.
4. The ‘I Don’t Have Time for You’ Signal
Some narcissists walk ahead simply because they don’t respect your time or presence. It’s a not-so-subtle way of saying: “I have better things to do than slow down for you.”
Picture this: You’re walking down a busy street, struggling to keep up, while they charge ahead, glued to their phone, barely acknowledging you. How does that make you feel? Frustrated? Invisible? That’s the point.
Healthy relationships involve walking side by side—both in life and on the sidewalk. If someone consistently treats you as an afterthought, take it as a red flag.
5. The ‘Catch Me If You Can' Game
Some narcissists use walking ahead as a form of control, especially in romantic relationships. If they’re always a few steps ahead, they force you to chase them. It keeps you slightly anxious, slightly off-balance, and always trying to “catch up” to them—both literally and emotionally.
It’s exhausting.
Pro Tip: Instead of running after them, try this: Stop walking. See if they even notice. If they don’t, that tells you everything you need to know.
6. The Public Display of Dominance
If your narcissistic friend or partner always walks ahead in public, it’s often a status display. They want to be seen as the leader, the boss, the one in charge.
Think of it like peacocks spreading their feathers—it’s all about the image. The irony? True confidence doesn’t need a power move like this.
7. The Unspoken ‘I’m More Important’ Message
Narcissists often believe their time is more valuable than yours. Walking ahead subtly reinforces this idea. They’re saying: “I have places to be. You’re just tagging along.”
Ever noticed they also tend to walk ahead in restaurants, social gatherings, or even when exiting a room? It’s their way of physically reinforcing their perceived superiority.
8. The Emotional Distance Factor
Sometimes, walking ahead is a metaphor for their emotional availability (or lack thereof). If someone physically distances themselves from you all the time, chances are they’re emotionally doing the same thing.
If you feel disconnected in your relationship, start paying attention to these little behaviors. They might be saying more than words ever could.
How to Handle a Narcissist Who Walks Ahead
Now that we know why they do it, let’s talk about what you can do about it.
1. Call It Out (Casually but Firmly)
Instead of seething in silence, just say it:
“Hey, I noticed you always walk ahead. Why is that?”
Watch their reaction. A non-narcissist might say, “Oh, I didn’t even realize! I’ll slow down.” A narcissist? They’ll likely get defensive or brush it off.
2. Stop Chasing Them
If they always make you chase after them, don’t. Walk at your own pace and let them realize they’re walking alone.
3. Set Boundaries
If someone is constantly dismissing your presence (physically and emotionally), speak up. You deserve to be with someone who values you—not someone who treats you like an afterthought.
4. Watch for Other Red Flags
Walking ahead is just one sign. If they constantly make everything about them, minimize your feelings, or dismiss your needs, take a step back (literally and emotionally).
5. Know When to Walk Away
Sometimes, the best response is to walk in the opposite direction. A relationship should feel like a partnership—not a race where one person is always leading and the other is struggling to keep up.
Final Takeaway: Walk Beside the Right People
At the end of the day, walking ahead is not just about walking. It’s about power, control, and the unspoken ways narcissists try to assert dominance. If someone truly values you, they’ll naturally match your pace, both in life and in relationships.
So, the next time you notice someone always a few steps ahead, don’t just brush it off. Ask yourself: Do I want to keep following? Or is it time to find someone who actually walks beside me?