Have you ever loved someone who made you feel like you were walking on sunshine one minute and stomping through a hailstorm the next? If so, chances are, you may have been tangled up with a narcissist.

Getting over a narcissist is not your regular heartbreak. It’s more like escaping a tornado and then wondering why you’re still dizzy days, months, or even years later. But here’s the good news: you can heal. You can thrive. And you can even laugh again without wondering if you're the punchline.

In this guide, we’re going to walk (or maybe limp a little at first) through practical, real-world ways to truly get over a narcissist and come out stronger, wiser, and yes, happier.

Let’s dive in.

1. Accept That It Wasn’t Your Fault

First things first. No matter how much they twisted the truth, spun stories, or played the blame game, you need to know this: It. Was. Not. Your. Fault.

Narcissists have a Ph.D. in projection. They will blame you for things they did wrong faster than you can say, “Wait, what just happened?” Accepting this is the first huge step toward healing.

2. Go Full-on No Contact

Delete. Block. Repeat if necessary.

Imagine trying to heal a wound while someone keeps poking it. You can’t. Same with a narcissist. Even if you’re tempted to “just check in,” don’t. No contact means no text messages, no calls, no Instagram stalking “just to see if they’re miserable without you.”

Pro tip: Change their name in your phone to “Do Not Answer” if blocking feels too harsh at first.

3. Don’t Expect Closure

If you’re waiting for the narcissist to admit they were wrong, apologize sincerely, and gift you closure on a silver platter, you might be waiting until unicorns start delivering your mail.

Narcissists hate admitting fault. Your closure has to come from you. And it will.

4. Write a Goodbye Letter You Don’t Send

Take an hour, a pen, and your rawest emotions. Write everything you wish you could say. Cry ugly tears if you need to. Then either burn it, tear it up, or tuck it away in a place you’ll never look again.

Trust me, it’s like emotional detox.

5. Unfollow Their Friends Too

It’s not petty. It’s protection.

Mutual friends who stay glued to the narcissist’s side aren’t necessarily your friends. If they’re updating you about your ex’s every move, or worse, acting like you’re overreacting, hit that unfollow button with pride.

6. Remind Yourself of the Bad Times

This might sound harsh but when your brain starts romanticizing the “good times,” bring up that time they made you feel two inches tall for breathing too loudly.

Keep a list if you have to. Memory has a sneaky way of erasing the bad and painting everything in soft, golden light.

7. Reclaim Your Hobbies

Remember that pottery class you always wanted to take? The dance lessons you put on hold? The hiking group you ditched because someone didn’t “like the outdoors”?

Go sign up. Rediscover the things that make you you. Without their judgment hovering over your shoulder.

8. Surround Yourself with “Safe People”

Not everyone deserves VIP access to your healing journey. Choose friends who genuinely care, who listen without judgment, and who never say, “Well, maybe he/she wasn't that bad.”

Safe people remind you of your worth when you forget.

9. Celebrate Tiny Wins

Did you get through a whole day without thinking about them? High five. Resisted the urge to stalk their new partner’s social media? Double high five.

Healing isn’t one giant leap. It’s a million tiny steps. Celebrate each one.

10. Therapy is Your Secret Weapon

A good therapist can help you untangle the mess a narcissist left behind. They’ll hand you real tools, not just tissues.

Think of therapy like getting a personal trainer for your heart and mind. Except you don’t have to do burpees.

11. Build a Self-Care Routine You Love

Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and spa days, although those are nice. It’s also making sure you eat well, move your body, get enough sleep, and yes, say no when you mean it.

Healing is physical too. Don’t forget that.

12. Learn About Narcissism

Knowledge is power. Understanding narcissistic behavior helps you see the patterns more clearly and reminds you that you didn’t imagine the madness.

It’s like finally having the manual for a machine you were trying to operate blindfolded.

13. Don’t Rush Into Another Relationship

When someone has treated you like a yo-yo, you might crave validation like a dehydrated person craves water.

Pause. Breathe. Heal first. You deserve a partner, not a project.

14. Create a New Vision Board

What does your life look like without their chaos? Peaceful? Adventurous? Full of new friendships?

Grab some magazines, scissors, and glue, and dream up a future that’s 100% narcissist-free.

15. Give Yourself Permission to Be Angry

Anger isn’t bad. It’s a signal that you were wronged. Let yourself feel it, yell into a pillow, or go for a furious jog. Just don’t let the anger take up permanent residence.

Use it to fuel positive change, not bitterness.

16. Realize It’s OK to Miss Them

Wait, what? Miss someone who hurt you? Yep. Totally normal.

You miss the person you thought they were, not the person they really are. Be kind to yourself when those feelings pop up.

17. Forgive Yourself for Staying So Long

We all have that moment where we look back and think, “Why didn’t I leave sooner?”

But you stayed because you cared. You stayed because you believed in them. That says beautiful things about you, not terrible things.

18. Set Future Boundaries Early and Firmly

When you’re ready to date again, boundaries are your best friend. If someone throws a red flag your way, don’t ignore it because they’re charming.

Pro tip: Trust actions over words. Always.

19. Laugh Again

Watch dumb comedies. Hang out with goofy friends. Dance badly in your living room. Laughter reminds you that life isn’t just survival. It’s meant to be enjoyed.

20. Become Your Own Hero

At the end of the day, the real happy ending isn’t that you “move on” or “win the breakup.” It’s that you realize you’re the hero you’ve been waiting for all along.

You save yourself.

And there’s nothing more beautiful than that.

Final Thoughts: Healing Is Messy, Beautiful, and Worth It

If getting over a narcissist feels like clawing your way out of a dark, tangled forest, you’re not alone. Healing isn’t clean or linear. It’s messy, it’s tearful, it’s hilarious at the most unexpected moments.

But you’ll wake up one morning, stretch, sip your coffee, and realize you didn’t think about them once yesterday. And it’ll feel like winning the lottery.

You deserve peace. You deserve joy. You deserve love that feels safe and real.

And trust me, it’s waiting for you.