Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do. Whether it’s the end of a romantic relationship, a friendship that’s drifted apart, or the loss of someone important in your life, the pain can feel overwhelming. But the truth is, moving on is not only possible but necessary for your own growth and happiness. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in the pain of a breakup or a lost connection, you’re not alone. We’ve all been there, and it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.
In this article, we’ll walk through the journey of letting go, offering practical tips, real-life examples, and support to help you move forward. You might not feel like it now, but there is a brighter future ahead. So, grab a cup of tea (or wine, we won’t judge) and let’s dive in.
1. Acknowledge the Pain
It’s tempting to brush off your feelings, but pretending the hurt isn’t there will only make it worse in the long run. You have to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. In fact, your emotions are part of the healing process. Think of them as your body’s natural way of telling you that something needs attention. Whether it's shedding tears or venting to a friend, allow yourself to grieve.
Pro tip: Grab a journal and write down what you’re feeling. It’s like talking to a friend, but without needing to make sense of everything just yet.
2. Understand That It’s Normal to Grieve
After all, you’ve lost something important. And it’s okay to take time to mourn it. You’re not weak for feeling pain, and you’re definitely not the only one who has gone through it. People often feel like they’re the only ones struggling, but trust me, everyone experiences heartbreak at some point. It’s just part of life. If your friends have been through similar situations, ask them how they coped.
Example: Jane, a close friend of mine, once told me, “It felt like my world was ending after my breakup, but the thing I realized was that I wasn’t the only one. Everyone around me has been through the same thing. That made me feel less alone.”
3. Take Care of Yourself Physically
When you’re hurting emotionally, it’s easy to let your physical well-being slip. But maintaining your physical health can help improve your mood and overall outlook. Exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep. Sometimes, a walk in the park or a sweaty yoga class can do wonders for your mental state.
Pro tip: Start small—go for a ten-minute walk. Sometimes, that’s all you need to clear your head.
4. Create a “No Contact” Rule
The temptation to text, call, or check social media accounts of the person you’re trying to move on from is real. But here’s the thing: if you keep lingering in that space, it’ll only drag out the pain. Cutting off contact, even temporarily, can give you the emotional space you need to heal.
Example: Sarah, after breaking up with her long-term partner, deleted his number and unfollowed him on social media. It wasn’t easy, but she realized she was giving herself permission to heal without being reminded of the past.
5. Find Distractions That You Enjoy
Sometimes, the best way to move on is to give yourself a break from thinking about the past. Find hobbies or activities that make you happy. Maybe it’s painting, playing video games, or baking cookies—whatever makes you feel good. Dive into things that bring joy back into your life.
Pro tip: Start a new hobby. It doesn’t have to be big. Try cooking a new recipe or signing up for an online class. Engaging in something new can help you focus on growth.
6. Lean on Your Support System
There’s no shame in needing help, and your friends and family want to be there for you. Don’t isolate yourself. Whether it’s a heart-to-heart with your best friend or spending time with your parents, surrounding yourself with people who care will make all the difference.
Pro tip: If you’re not ready to talk about it, that’s okay. Just being around your support system, even in silence, can be healing.
7. Give Yourself Time
No one expects you to be over someone overnight. It’s okay to take things day by day. Healing is a process, and it’s not linear. Some days will feel better than others, and that’s perfectly normal. Be patient with yourself.
Example: When Mike’s relationship ended, he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t feeling better after a week. His friend reminded him that it would take time, and that it was okay to have bad days. A year later, Mike said he was grateful for that advice—he was finally feeling at peace.
8. Reflect on the Relationship (But Don’t Dwell)
Take some time to reflect on what the relationship taught you. What were the good moments? What did you learn about yourself? But here’s the key—don’t get stuck in the past. Use those reflections as a tool for growth, not a way to keep rehashing the same pain.
Pro tip: Write down the lessons you learned, but also jot down the reasons why moving on is the right choice. It’ll help you see the bigger picture.
9. Remove Emotional Attachments
It’s not just about not texting; it’s also about removing the emotional attachment to physical things. Consider packing away gifts, photos, or anything that brings back memories. When you remove these reminders, you make space for new memories and new beginnings.
Pro tip: Consider donating things that have emotional ties. Not only will it clear your space, but it’ll also feel like a symbolic gesture of moving forward.
10. Focus on Self-Improvement
After a breakup, it’s easy to focus on what went wrong, but instead, shift your focus to personal growth. Use this time to better yourself. Take up a new fitness challenge, read books on subjects you’ve always been curious about, or work on skills you want to improve.
Example: Emily joined a painting class after her breakup. Not only did it give her something to focus on, but she discovered a hidden talent that helped her connect with herself in a whole new way.
11. Forgive Yourself and Them
Forgiveness is a gift, not just for the other person, but for yourself. Holding on to resentment or anger keeps you emotionally trapped. Letting go of that burden allows you to heal faster. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to forget. It simply means you're choosing to release the hold that past hurt has on you.
Pro tip: If you’re struggling with forgiveness, try writing a letter to the person (you don’t have to send it). Sometimes, expressing your feelings on paper can help you let go of negative emotions.
12. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
We live in a world full of Instagram highlight reels, and it’s tempting to compare your healing process to someone else’s. But remember: everyone’s journey is different. Your path to healing is yours and yours alone. Focus on your progress, not anyone else’s.
Pro tip: If you find yourself comparing, unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about where you are in your journey. You need positive influences right now.
13. Get Comfortable with Being Single
Being single doesn’t mean you’re incomplete. In fact, it’s an opportunity to rediscover who you are, what you want, and what makes you happy. Embrace the single life and take this time to nurture your own self-love.
Example: After her breakup, Lisa took a solo trip to the beach. She learned how to enjoy her own company, and it changed her perspective on relationships forever.
14. Seek Professional Help if Needed
Sometimes, moving on is too hard to do on your own, and that’s okay. Seeking help from a therapist or counselor can provide you with tools and strategies to cope with the pain. Talking to someone objective can help you see things from a new perspective.
Pro tip: Therapy isn’t just for the “big” problems. It can be a great resource for anyone looking to heal or grow.
15. Embrace New Opportunities
Letting go opens the door to new experiences, relationships, and opportunities. Don’t be afraid to explore what’s out there. Whether it’s meeting new people or trying something new, this is your chance to rebuild your life on your terms.
Example: When Sam ended his toxic relationship, he focused on his career and developed new friendships. A year later, he met someone who aligned with his values and goals.
Conclusion: Moving On Is a Journey, Not a Destination
Letting go is tough, but it’s also one of the most liberating things you can do for yourself. Remember that it’s okay to feel the pain and take your time. You’ll look back one day and realize that this experience made you stronger, wiser, and more prepared for the next chapter.
So, take it one step at a time, lean on your support system, and trust that the best is yet to come. You’ve got this!