Health is a deeply personal topic. Most people share their health struggles with honesty, looking for support, care, or solutions. But when it comes to narcissists, the truth is often twisted, exaggerated, or completely fabricated. Their illnesses—real or fake—become another tool for manipulation, control, and attention-seeking.
If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist who constantly plays the “sick card,” you know how exhausting it can be. One moment, they seem perfectly fine. The next, they’re bedridden with a mysterious ailment that conveniently appears when they need sympathy, escape, or control. But why do they do this?
Let’s dive into the sick games narcissists play and the five biggest reasons they lie about their health.
1. To Gain Sympathy and Attention
At the heart of every narcissist’s world is an insatiable need for attention. They crave admiration, validation, and emotional energy from those around them. What better way to ensure a steady supply of sympathy than to fake or exaggerate an illness?
A narcissist might claim they have a chronic condition, a rare disease, or unexplained health issues that doctors “just can’t figure out.” The goal is not medical help—it’s attention. They want people to fuss over them, check in constantly, and reassure them of how strong and brave they are.
If you stop showing concern, they might make their symptoms worse or suddenly “remember” a tragic past medical event. They might even accuse you of being heartless if you don’t react the way they expect. Their health becomes a never-ending drama, ensuring they remain the center of attention.
2. To Avoid Responsibility
Narcissists hate being held accountable. Whether it’s work, relationships, or commitments, they will do anything to dodge responsibility. Feigning illness is the perfect excuse to avoid obligations without taking the blame.
Did they miss an important deadline? It wasn’t their fault—they had a horrible migraine. Did they forget to do something they promised? Their chronic pain was acting up. Are they failing in their job? Their health is declining, and no one understands how hard it is for them.
This tactic allows them to escape consequences while making others feel guilty for expecting too much. If you push them to follow through on something, they will guilt-trip you for being insensitive to their “condition.”
3. To Control and Manipulate Loved Ones
When a narcissist claims to be sick, they often use it to control the people closest to them. They expect special treatment, bending the rules in their favor. Partners, friends, and family members are manipulated into constantly catering to their needs.
An empathic person will naturally want to help, but with a narcissist, the goal is never recovery—it’s control. They demand constant attention, special privileges, and unwavering loyalty. They will act as if any moment of happiness you experience without them is a betrayal.
They may also use their “illness” to isolate you. If they see you spending time with others or enjoying yourself, they suddenly become sicker. You’ll feel guilty leaving them alone, and just like that, they’ve trapped you in their web of manipulation.
4. To Justify Bad Behavior
Narcissists don’t like being called out. If they lash out, lie, cheat, or mistreat others, they need a way to justify their actions. And what better way to excuse their behavior than to blame it on their health?
They might say,
“I’ve been in so much pain lately, that’s why I snapped at you.”
“My anxiety is just overwhelming me, I can’t control my reactions.”
“If you knew how sick I feel every day, you wouldn’t judge me so harshly.”
This tactic shifts the focus from their toxic behavior to their so-called suffering. Instead of holding them accountable, people feel sorry for them. The conversation moves away from what they did wrong and turns into a discussion about their struggles. It’s a clever way to escape responsibility while making others feel guilty for even questioning them.
5. To Keep You Hooked in the Relationship
One of the most manipulative reasons a narcissist fakes or exaggerates illness is to prevent someone from leaving them. They know that people with kind hearts have a hard time walking away from someone in need.
If they sense you pulling away, they may suddenly develop a life-threatening illness. They might drop hints about a serious diagnosis but refuse to give details. They could even claim that your stress is making them sicker, putting the blame on you.
The goal is simple: to make you feel too guilty to leave. They want you to believe that if you walk away, you’ll be abandoning a helpless person. This tactic is especially cruel because it plays on deep emotions, keeping people trapped in unhealthy relationships out of sheer compassion.
Breaking Free from the Sick Games
If you’re dealing with a narcissist who constantly lies about their health, the most important thing to remember is this: you are not responsible for managing their emotional or physical well-being.
Here’s how to protect yourself from their manipulative health games:
- Set Boundaries: If they always demand attention for their “illness,” politely disengage. Offer basic support but don’t let them consume your life.
- Stay Logical: Look for patterns in their behavior. Do their symptoms appear at convenient times? Do they magically recover when attention shifts elsewhere?
- Don’t Feel Guilty: Narcissists use guilt as a weapon. Remind yourself that a truly sick person seeks solutions, not endless attention.
- Encourage Professional Help: If they claim to be seriously ill, suggest medical treatment. A narcissist will often avoid real medical intervention because they know the truth would be exposed.
- Know When to Walk Away: If their manipulation is affecting your mental and emotional health, it may be time to distance yourself or leave entirely.
A real illness deserves real care, but narcissists don’t want care—they want control. Their health games are just another tactic to keep people tangled in their web of manipulation. The best way to win? Refuse to play.