The Only Two Types of People Narcissists Keep Around—Which One Are You?

Ever felt like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around someone? Or that no matter what you do, it’s never enough? If so, you might be dealing with a narcissist. These individuals have a knack for pulling people into their orbit, keeping them close—but only if they serve a purpose.

But here’s the kicker: narcissists only keep two types of people in their lives. That’s right—just two. If you’ve ever been tangled up with one, you’re either fueling their ego or keeping the peace. The question is, which one are you? And more importantly, how do you break free?

Let’s dive into the two types of people narcissists hold onto, how they manipulate them, and—most crucially—how to regain control of your life.

Type 1: The Admirer (a.k.a. The Ego Booster)

Narcissists thrive on admiration like plants thrive on sunlight. They need a steady stream of validation to keep their fragile sense of superiority intact. Enter the Admirer—the person who makes them feel important, successful, and, let’s be honest, almost godlike.

Signs You’re the Admirer

1. You constantly praise them – Compliments, admiration, and reassurance are your love language (or, rather, their expectation).
2. You rarely challenge them – You’ve learned that questioning their decisions leads to a meltdown, so you go with the flow.
3. They love-bombed you in the beginning – They showered you with attention, gifts, or grand gestures, making you feel special.
4. You feel drained – Giving constant praise is exhausting, but saying “no” feels even riskier.
5. You get discarded when you stop admiring them – The moment you stop feeding their ego, they either lash out or disappear.

Real-Life Example

Imagine Lisa, a hardworking graphic designer, dating someone who seems perfect at first. He’s charming, successful, and tells her she’s the most amazing person he’s ever met. She feels lucky—until she realizes she’s only valued when she’s singing his praises. The moment she expresses her own needs, he withdraws affection, making her feel guilty.

How to Break Free

• Set boundaries – You don’t owe anyone constant validation. A relationship should be mutual, not a one-way admiration society.
• Notice the pattern – Love-bombing followed by neglect isn’t normal. If someone only values you for your compliments, it’s not real affection.
• Boost your self-worth – A narcissist’s approval doesn’t define you. You are valuable with or without their praise.

Type 2: The Caretaker (a.k.a. The Peacekeeper)

If the Admirer is the fuel, the Caretaker is the glue holding everything together. These are the people who smooth things over, take the blame, and absorb the emotional chaos narcissists create.

Signs You’re the Caretaker

1. You’re always the fixer – If there’s conflict, you step in to resolve it, even if it’s not your fault.
2. You make excuses for their behavior – “They had a tough childhood,” or “They don’t mean it.” Sound familiar?
3. You suppress your feelings – Expressing your emotions leads to arguments, so you keep them bottled up.
4. They guilt-trip you into staying – They make you feel responsible for their happiness (or their misery).
5. You feel emotionally exhausted – It’s like running a marathon with no finish line—you keep giving, but they never fill your cup.

Real-Life Example

Take Jake, for instance. His best friend, Mark, has a habit of belittling him in front of others. Whenever Jake tries to speak up, Mark flips it on him—“Oh, come on, you’re too sensitive!” So, Jake stops complaining and starts apologizing instead. Over time, he becomes the designated fixer, afraid that if he pushes back, he’ll lose the friendship.

How to Break Free

• Stop absorbing their emotions – Their feelings are not your responsibility. You can be compassionate without being their emotional punching bag.
• Challenge the guilt – If they make you feel bad for standing up for yourself, that’s manipulation, not love.
• Surround yourself with supportive people – Healthy relationships don’t require constant damage control.

Why Do Narcissists Need These Two Types?

Simple: They create a cycle where one person feeds their ego, and the other manages the mess when things go south. This allows them to maintain control while avoiding accountability.

The Narcissistic Playbook

1. They alternate between love and neglect – Keeps both the Admirer and Caretaker on edge.
2. They gaslight and guilt-trip – Makes you doubt your own perceptions.
3. They isolate you – Limits outside perspectives, making you rely solely on them.
4. They create false hope – They promise to change, but the cycle always repeats.

Breaking Free: How to Reclaim Your Power

1. Recognize the Pattern

The first step is awareness. If you see yourself in either of these roles, it’s time to step back and reassess.

2. Establish Boundaries

• If they lash out when you say “no,” that’s not your problem.
• You are allowed to have needs and express them.

3. Stop Seeking Their Approval

Narcissists will never be satisfied—so why keep trying? Instead, focus on what makes you happy.

4. Surround Yourself with Healthy Relationships

Genuine friends and partners lift you up. If someone drains you, it's time to reconsider their place in your life.

5. Seek Professional Guidance

Therapists can help you unpack the emotional baggage narcissistic relationships leave behind.

6. Practice Self-Compassion

Leaving a narcissistic dynamic isn’t easy, but you deserve peace and happiness. Be kind to yourself in the process.

The Final Takeaway

At the end of the day, you don’t exist to feed someone else’s ego or clean up their messes. You are your own person, worthy of respect, love, and genuine connection. If you’ve found yourself in the grip of a narcissist, know that you have the power to break free.

It won’t be easy—but it will be worth it. The question isn’t just, “Which one am I?” The real question is, “Do I want to stay that way?”