It’s easy to think of being “broken” as something that only happens when we go through a breakup. After all, the heartache that comes with ending a relationship can feel like the emotional equivalent of a smashed vase. But let’s be real for a moment—being “broken” isn’t just a result of heartbreak. It’s a much deeper, more complex feeling that can show up in all areas of life.
Whether it’s feeling disconnected from your true self, struggling with self-worth, or being overwhelmed by life’s challenges, the idea of being broken touches on a sense of emotional exhaustion. But here’s the good news: being broken doesn’t mean you’re beyond repair. In fact, it’s often a necessary part of growth and healing. In this article, we’re going to explore what it really means to be broken, how it impacts our lives, and—most importantly—how we can rebuild ourselves with intention, self-compassion, and actionable steps.
Understanding the Concept of Being Broken
Before diving into solutions and practical tips, let’s take a moment to define what being broken really means.
“Being broken” is a feeling that most of us will experience at some point in our lives. It can be triggered by all sorts of things: personal failures, rejections, disappointments, or even just the weight of life’s constant demands. It’s that moment when you feel like everything is too much, or that you’re not enough.
Sometimes, we try to hide this feeling, thinking that others won’t understand. But truthfully, being broken is something many people can relate to, even if they’re not talking about it openly. It can feel like you're carrying around an invisible burden, making you question your worth and your ability to cope with the world around you.
The key here is understanding that “broken” doesn’t mean “lost.” It’s simply a temporary state that can be healed with time, self-care, and a little help from your friends (or maybe a good therapist).
1. Acknowledge That It's Okay to Feel Broken
First things first: stop beating yourself up for feeling broken. Seriously. You’re allowed to feel down, confused, or overwhelmed. It's not a sign of weakness, but rather a natural response to life's ups and downs. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step in healing.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Heal
Healing isn’t a race. There’s no deadline to “feel better.” Allow yourself the time and space to heal at your own pace. If you need to take a day off from life or wallow a little in your feelings, go for it. Sometimes, giving yourself permission to rest is all you need to start the healing process.
3. Talk to Someone You Trust
When you’re feeling broken, it can be easy to isolate yourself. But trust me, talking to someone you trust can work wonders. It doesn’t have to be some grand heart-to-heart—just a casual conversation with a friend or family member can lighten your emotional load. They might even surprise you with some helpful perspective or comforting words you didn’t know you needed.
Pro Tip: If you don’t have someone you feel comfortable talking to, consider joining a support group or seeking professional help. Sometimes, getting an outside perspective can open new pathways for healing.
4. Identify the Root Cause of Your Brokenness
It’s easy to say “I’m broken” and leave it at that, but understanding why you feel this way can be incredibly helpful. Is it a specific event, like a breakup or a job loss? Or is it a more general feeling of not living up to your own expectations? By identifying the root cause, you can begin to address the issue directly.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
When we’re feeling broken, we can be our own harshest critics. We think we should be “stronger” or “better” than we are, and we judge ourselves for struggling. But self-compassion is key. Instead of thinking “Why am I so weak?” try thinking “I’m human, and it’s okay to not be okay right now.” Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend going through a tough time.
6. Focus on What You Can Control
When life feels out of control, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. But instead of focusing on everything that’s wrong, focus on what you can control. Is it your morning routine? Maybe it's something as simple as drinking enough water or getting outside for a walk. Small actions can help restore a sense of agency over your life.
7. Take Care of Your Physical Health
It’s no surprise that our physical and emotional health are connected. When you’re feeling broken, it’s easy to neglect your body. But simple things like getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, and exercising can have a positive impact on your mood and energy levels. Don’t underestimate the power of a walk or a good meal!
8. Reconnect with Activities You Enjoy
What makes you feel alive? Whether it’s painting, reading, playing an instrument, or hiking, doing something you love can give you a sense of purpose and joy—even when things feel broken. It’s important to prioritize these activities, especially when life feels overwhelming.
Example Story: Sarah was going through a tough breakup and felt emotionally drained. But when she picked up her paintbrush again, she felt a sense of calm that had been missing. It didn’t solve everything, but it gave her a small piece of joy in a difficult time.
9. Set Small, Achievable Goals
When you’re in a broken state, large goals can feel impossible. So instead of focusing on the big picture, break it down into smaller, more manageable tasks. Whether it’s getting through the day or accomplishing one small project, celebrate the wins—no matter how small they seem.
10. Reframe Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts can be overwhelming when you’re feeling broken, but you don’t have to believe every thought you have. When you catch yourself spiraling, try to reframe the thought. For example, if you think “I’ll never be happy again,” reframe it to “I’m going through a tough time right now, but I’ve been through hard times before and came out stronger.”
11. Seek Professional Help If Necessary
Sometimes, you don’t have all the answers, and that’s okay. If your feelings of being broken seem to linger or interfere with your daily life, it might be time to talk to a therapist or counselor. A professional can help you work through your emotions, identify patterns, and develop coping strategies.
12. Find Meaning in the Pain
While it might not feel like it in the moment, there’s often something valuable to be learned in times of emotional struggle. What has this experience taught you? Has it made you more resilient? More compassionate? Finding meaning in pain can help you make sense of what’s happening, and in turn, help you heal.
13. Surround Yourself with Positive People
The people you spend time with have a huge impact on your emotional well-being. If you're constantly surrounded by negativity, it’s going to be harder to heal. Seek out people who uplift and support you. Their positive energy can help you rise above the brokenness and remind you of your worth.
14. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness and meditation are great tools for grounding yourself in the present moment. When you’re feeling broken, it’s easy to get stuck in the past or worry about the future. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay in the here and now, reducing anxiety and promoting emotional healing.
15. Celebrate Your Progress
Healing isn’t linear, and it’s not always obvious. But take a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come. Whether you’ve made it through a difficult week or found a new hobby, celebrate the small victories. You’re stronger than you think!
16. Be Patient with Yourself
Remember, there’s no timeline for healing. Everyone’s journey is different. Be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time. You don’t have to have everything figured out today, tomorrow, or next week. The important thing is that you’re on the path to healing.
Conclusion: You Are Not Broken Forever
While it’s completely normal to feel broken at times, it’s important to remember that it’s only temporary. You are not defined by your struggles or setbacks. With time, effort, and self-compassion, you can heal and rebuild. Just like a cracked vase can be mended and made whole again, so too can your heart and spirit.
Take a deep breath, be kind to yourself, and start implementing these tips one by one. The journey may not always be easy, but it’s worth it. Healing is possible, and the best part is—you’re not alone on this journey. Let’s embrace the process, knowing that we’re capable of becoming stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before.