3 Spooky Breakup Tactics Narcissists Use to Haunt You

Breakups are tough enough on their own. But when you’ve split from a narcissist, the aftermath can feel like the plot of a scary movie. You think it’s over, yet there they are—looming in your life like a ghost that refuses to move on. Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

Narcissists have a knack for keeping themselves at the center of your world, even after you’ve booted them out of it. They use sneaky, manipulative tactics that can leave you questioning your reality, your feelings, and even your sanity. But don’t worry—you’ve got this! Let’s dive into these spooky tactics, learn to spot them, and arm ourselves with tools to banish them for good.

Tactic 1: The Phantom Apology – Saying Sorry Without Meaning It

One minute, you’re moving on; the next, they’re back with an apology that seems straight out of a soap opera. “I’ve changed,” they might say. Or, “I realize now what I did wrong.” Sounds great, right? Except, it’s often just words. Narcissists use apologies as a way to reel you back in, not as a sincere expression of regret.

How to Handle It

Don’t fall for vague statements. If they can’t pinpoint what they’re apologizing for, it’s a red flag.

Ask for proof, not promises. Changed behavior is the real apology.

Stick to your boundaries. Respond politely but firmly, making it clear that their apology doesn’t change your decision.

Relatable Anecdote

Lisa, a 29-year-old teacher, received an “apology” text from her ex after two months of silence. He claimed he’d “seen the light.” But when she asked what he’d learned, his response was, “That I miss you.” Classic dodge!

Tactic 2: The Social Media Specter – Using Platforms to Stay Present

Ever had an ex suddenly start liking your old posts or commenting on your stories? Narcissists know how to use social media to haunt you. Whether it’s posting cryptic quotes about love and loss or flaunting their new relationship, they thrive on keeping you emotionally hooked.

How to Handle It

Mute, block, or unfollow. Out of sight, out of mind.

Don’t engage. Responding—even to tell them off—gives them the attention they crave.

Focus on your own social media. Post about your growth and joy, not as a rebuttal, but as a celebration of your freedom.

Real-Life Example

Jordan, a marketing executive, found her ex tagging her in old photos months after their breakup. Instead of replying, she blocked him. “It felt empowering,” she said. “Like reclaiming my space.”

Tactic 3: The Ghosting and Resurfacing Act

One day they’re gone, the next they’re back, acting like nothing happened. This push-pull dynamic can make you feel confused, frustrated, and even a little hopeful. Narcissists thrive on the power this inconsistency gives them over your emotions.

How to Handle It

Don’t play their game. When they disappear, don’t go chasing after them.

Demand consistency. If they pop back up, hold them accountable for their vanishing act.

Recognize the pattern. Once you see the cycle, it’s easier to break free from it.

Fictional Story

Imagine you’re Alex, who’s spent weeks healing after being ghosted. Out of the blue, your ex texts, “Hey, missed you.” You reply, “Glad to hear. Hope you’re well!” and leave it at that. Short, sweet, and no room for manipulation.

Bonus Tips for Breaking Free From Their Spell

Build a Support System

Lean on your friends and family for support. Let them remind you of your worth when your ex’s antics make you doubt it.

Journal Your Feelings

Writing down your experiences can help you see patterns and reinforce your decision to stay strong.

Focus on Yourself

Channel your energy into hobbies, fitness, or personal growth. Show yourself the love you were giving to them.

Consider Therapy

A therapist can provide valuable tools to rebuild your self-esteem and navigate life post-breakup.

A Motivational Takeaway

Surviving a breakup with a narcissist is like escaping a haunted house—you don’t just want to get out; you want to lock the door behind you and never look back. By recognizing their spooky tactics, staying strong in your boundaries, and focusing on your growth, you can move forward with confidence.

You’ve got this. You’re stronger than their games and smarter than their tricks. Keep going, and remember—you deserve a love that doesn’t need to be haunted.

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About Dxp Team

The DXP Team is a dedicated group of writers, journalists, and bloggers with a deep connection to the online dating world. Our personal experiences, combined with professional expertise, allow us to bring authentic and relatable advice to our audience. We go beyond just sharing tips — we aim to be your trusted resource in navigating the complexities of modern dating. From practical advice and honest reviews to insightful guides, our team works tirelessly to create content that resonates with your journey. Whether you're new to online dating or looking to refine your approach, the DXP Team is here to support you every step of the way.