Narcissists Unmasked: 12 Brutal Truths About How They Treat Their Exes

Breaking up is tough, but breaking up with a narcissist? That’s a whole new level of emotional rollercoaster. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Why is my ex acting like I don’t exist?” or “How did they move on so quickly?” — you're not alone. Narcissists have their own playbook when it comes to dealing with exes, and spoiler alert: it’s not pretty.

In this article, we’re diving into the brutal truths about how narcissists treat their exes. But don’t worry—we’ll also share practical advice on how to handle their behavior and move forward with confidence. Let’s get started!

1. They Move On at Lightning Speed

Ever feel like your narcissistic ex has already replaced you before you’ve even had time to change your Netflix password? That’s because they thrive on validation and attention. They don’t actually “move on” emotionally; they just find a new source of admiration.

Pro Tip: Don’t stalk their social media. It’s a highlight reel, not real life. Focus on your own healing instead.

2. They Play the Victim Card

Suddenly, they’re telling everyone that you were the problem, and they were the innocent one just trying to make it work. Narcissists are master storytellers who twist the narrative to suit themselves.

What to Do: Stay calm, stay classy, and let the truth speak for itself over time. You don’t need to defend yourself to everyone.

3. They Hoover You Back In

Just when you think you’re free, they come sliding into your DMs with a “Hey, I miss you” or “Hope you’re doing well.” This tactic, called hoovering, is their way of testing if they still have control over you.

How to Handle It: Block, delete, and repeat. No response is the best response.

4. They Weaponize Your Memories

Remember that cute trip you took together? Narcissists will remind you of the good times (while conveniently forgetting the bad) to make you second-guess yourself.

Reality Check: Remind yourself of why you left and keep a list of their red flags handy if needed.

5. They Act Like You Never Existed

One day, you’re soulmates; the next, you’re invisible. Narcissists often pretend like their exes never mattered to them. This cold treatment is a defense mechanism to protect their fragile ego.

Your Move: Remember, their behavior says more about them than it does about you.

6. They Spread Lies and Rumors

If you hear wild stories about yourself, don’t be surprised. Narcissists can’t handle being seen as the “bad guy,” so they’ll smear your reputation to protect their own.

Best Advice: Don’t engage in drama. Your real friends know the truth.

7. They Try to Make You Jealous

Whether it’s flaunting a new relationship or posting cryptic “happier than ever” captions, narcissists love to stir up jealousy.

What You Should Do: Take the high road and focus on your own journey. Unfollow or mute if needed.

8. They Play Hot and Cold

One minute they want to be “friends,” and the next, they’re ghosting you. This inconsistency keeps you emotionally hooked, which is exactly what they want.

Break the Cycle: Set clear boundaries and stick to them.

9. They Use Mutual Friends Against You

Narcissists are experts at turning people against each other. They may spread false stories or manipulate mutual friends to take their side.

Stay Strong: Keep your circle tight and avoid unnecessary drama.

10. They Never Take Accountability

Apologies? Forget about it. A narcissist will rarely, if ever, admit fault. Even when they do, it’s usually a strategic move rather than genuine remorse.

What You Can Do: Stop waiting for closure and give it to yourself.

11. They Stalk You (Socially, at Least)

You may think they’ve moved on, but they’re probably keeping tabs on you through social media or mutual acquaintances.

Solution: Tighten your privacy settings and be mindful of what you share.

12. They Keep a “Back Pocket” List

Narcissists love having backup options in case their current supply runs dry. They might check in occasionally to see if you’re still “available.”

Your Best Defense: Stay strong and cut off all contact.


How to Protect Yourself and Move On

Knowing how narcissists operate is half the battle. Here are some practical tips to help you reclaim your peace and confidence:

1. Go No-Contact: This is the golden rule when dealing with a narcissistic ex. Blocking them may feel extreme, but it’s necessary for your healing.

2. Seek Support: Surround yourself with friends and family who uplift you and remind you of your worth.

3. Focus on Self-Care: Dive into hobbies, start a new workout routine, or explore meditation—whatever makes you feel good.

4. Educate Yourself: The more you understand narcissistic behavior, the easier it becomes to detach emotionally.

5. Don’t Seek Revenge: It’s tempting, but it’s not worth it. Living well is truly the best revenge.

6. Journal Your Feelings: Writing things down can help you process emotions and track your progress.

7. Set New Goals: Whether it’s career, fitness, or personal growth, focusing on yourself is the best way forward.

8. Remember It’s Not Your Fault: Narcissists have deep-seated issues that have nothing to do with you.

9. Stay Off Their Social Media: The less you see, the easier it is to move on without comparison.

10. Practice Gratitude: Even after a tough breakup, finding small things to be grateful for can shift your perspective.


Final Thoughts

Breaking free from a narcissistic ex isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most empowering things you can do. By understanding their tactics and focusing on your own growth, you’ll come out stronger and wiser.

Remember, healing isn’t linear—some days will be tough, and that’s okay. Surround yourself with positivity, embrace the journey, and never forget: you deserve someone who truly values and respects you.

You’ve got this!

Join the conversation

About Dxp Team

The DXP Team is a dedicated group of writers, journalists, and bloggers with a deep connection to the online dating world. Our personal experiences, combined with professional expertise, allow us to bring authentic and relatable advice to our audience. We go beyond just sharing tips — we aim to be your trusted resource in navigating the complexities of modern dating. From practical advice and honest reviews to insightful guides, our team works tirelessly to create content that resonates with your journey. Whether you're new to online dating or looking to refine your approach, the DXP Team is here to support you every step of the way.