A lot of us have seen movies like ‘Friends with benefits,’ ‘No Strings Attached’ and other such movies showing sexual relationships with friends. Friends-with-benefits relationships can be a lot of fun given the fact that there are no emotions and complications involved.
It obviously has some complications such as one can start catching feelings, but overall it's a great way to enjoy physical intimacy without getting into a committed relationship.
While there can be no hard and fast set of rules to maintain healthy friends with benefits relationships, there are some basics that the two people involved should keep in mind. Every individual is different and hence the set of rules also differs.
But one thing that is common in any FWB relationship or a casual relationship is communication.
Clear communication leads to clarity and sets the pace of things. Communicate as much as possible and find out what your partner wants and what are their expectations. It is very important for the people involved to be on the same page.
13 Rules For Friends With Benefits:
1. Always be clear about your intentions
It is very important to be clear about what both the people in the relationship want. FWB relationships need to be transparent with a lot of communication.
If it turns out that you guys aren’t communicating enough, things could turn out to be problematic.
It is always suggested to have open both-sided conversations to let each other know the things that are going on and whether the relationship is going as it should be.
2. Never be friends with benefits with your best friend
This is perhaps the most important rule that needs to be kept in mind. No matter how easy and comfortable you are with your close friends and think that things can remain casual, most often things turn out the other way.
You already have emotions for a close friend of yours and studies have shown that eventually one or the other person ends up falling in love.
In most cases, the feelings turn out to be one-sided and the friendship comes to an end. It is a terrible way to lose a close friend and therefore very important to not get involved with them in the first place.
The emotional connection is already very strong in a friendship so it's very likely you or they might start developing feelings and then it will only hurt the feelings of both of you.
3. Lay some ground rules
It is very important to lay down some ground rules that would prevent the FWB relationship from turning into a proper one with commitments and complications as you didn’t sign up for that in the first place.
So, establish a set of rules that need to be followed to keep the relationship different from a romantic one. A lot of things seem to happen when things are going good and the set of rules can keep a check on things. The ideal FWB requires clear boundaries for successful FWB relationships.
4. Try avoiding emotional discussions
It is best to keep emotional discussions off the table when it comes to maintaining healthy friends with benefits relationships. Try to be emotionally distant while conversing and avoid opening up too much.
Opening up too much will eventually bring in for emotional involvement which can be hard to fend off and can screw things up badly. So keep that space and respect each other’s personal life.
Even if your opposite half starts talking about all that, stop them and make them understand how it is not healthy to engage in too much personal communication if you want to carry on with things the way they are.
5. Don’t get into an FWB relationship with someone who is involved
It is best to not get involved with someone who is already involved. And not only the ones who are in a romantic relationship, but also with people who are already in a friends with benefits relationship as well.
This can eventually lead to jealousy and complications which you certainly don’t want. So it is best to avoid partners who already have an FWB thing going on.
I would recommend you to try these FWB apps if you're unsure about trying them with your long-time friends.
6. Try to understand the feelings of your partner
Mutual respect and emotional support are also essential in an FWB situation. It is important to check on the feelings of your partner from time to time. This improves trust and friendship and reduces the chances of making things complicated. It might happen that one of you develops feelings for the other one over time and therefore it is important to check in regularly and have a talk about how things are.
If you feel like things are getting out of hand and may not be what you can be clear about that before things get screwed up to a greater extent.
If any of how are getting romantically involved with other people, it is also necessary to let that be known and respect each other’s feelings and do the needful.
7. Always use protection
Safe sex is important to stay std free and avoid unwanted pregnancies.
Always be sure to use protection no matter what sexual needs you are looking to fulfill with you in an FWB situation. Most people in FWB relationships are generally non-exclusive.
It is nothing wrong to have multiple casual sexual partners. Just make sure that your partner knows and that you are using protection. Also, get yourself checked for STDs once in a while.
So, practice safe sex!
8. Try avoiding sleepovers
When you sleep with your hookup or fwb, you risk yourself or them getting easily emotionally attached.
It can greatly increase the connection between two individuals and you might not know when you start having feelings for them. It is, therefore, best to avoid sleepovers.
No matter how late it is, try avoiding sleeping together. This is a great way to avoid feelings and end up ruining the good thing you’ve got going.
9. Go on dates with other people
No matter how much fun casual sex can be, everyone eventually looks for a partner. And having sex with someone casually doesn’t mean that you are in a relationship.
So you are free to meet and date new people in the hope of finding something romantic.
But always be open to your date from the start. If you feel a genuine connection developing break off the FWB relationship immediately letting the partner know your reasons for doing so.
10. Lesser the contact, the better
It is best to talk less in a FWB relationship. As you converse more the chances of developing feelings get a lot higher. So it is best to maintain less contact except when necessary.
Also, avoid sharing cute texts and stuff like that. It is things like these that lead to developing feelings for your hookup seven though you feel you are in control.
11. Don't be needy or clingy
An FWB partner is just there for casual sex and fun. Nothing more. Don’t expect to get your emotional needs fulfilled as well. Keep no such expectation whatsoever.
Don’t act clingy or needy by demanding attention from your partner as that kind of ruins the entire setup.
12. Know when to end things and talk about them
No friend with benefits relationship can go on forever. It either ends with both of them falling in love with each other or just one of the two falling in love with the other. Things might also come to an end if the people meet someone else for whom they have developed feelings.
Sometimes, it ends because sexual chemistry just disappears.
It is therefore important to talk things out about how to end it when the time comes. Nobody wants too much drama and complications while ending an FWB relationship and that can only be achieved by talking clearly about when you want to end things.
It is obviously difficult to plan out these things but a basic idea and transparency need to be there to end things on a good note. So communicate clearly and have fun while it lasts.
13. Most importantly, have fun
Don’t worry about anything or anyone or be answerable to anyone for having a FWB.
Make sure to have a lot of great sex and enjoy as much as you can, as that is what you signed up for, without the emotional baggage.
So yeah, do things that fantasize you, try things out, explore stuff, and make the most of the relationship before it eventually comes to an end.
Inside Scoop: These are 7 Common Places to Find a Fuck Buddy.