I’ve heard it many times …
“No one messages me! Am I ugly? Guess I should quit right now and adopt loads of cats.”
A quick perusal of their online dating profile tells me all I need to know: It’s just not good enough.
Anyone with a great online dating profile can attract the right sort of person they’re looking for. But actually crafting that superstar dating profile in the first? Well, that can often be the tricky bit.
The good news is that you’re in luck today because I’ve created a rundown of the top 13 tricks to writing an online dating profile that will have all eyes on you. The even better news is that anyone can implement these hacks and put a bit of fairy dust in their online dating profile.
13 Tips to Write a Dating Profile
1. Choose The Right Profile Photos
Let’s get the non-writing bit out of the way first.
Your images are your prime real estate. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a 10/10 or a 5/10, if you choose the right pics, you can get a lot of interest.
The problem is that too many singletons choose the wrong pics. They upload only headshots, or they filter them heavily.
If you upload just headshots, you’ll look like you’ve got something to hide. It’s the same with heavily filtered photos. They’re not real.
And how about those photos where you’re looking away from the camera? People want to see your face, people!
Here are some tips for choosing the right pics:
- Upload a pic of you holding a puppy (honestly, it’s adorable and people will swipe just for the puppy)
- Upload full body shots as well as headshots
- Upload a pic of you having fun
- Whatever you’re doing, smile in at least 75% of your pics
- Ask a friend for your best pics (we always choose our worst pics when left to our own devices)
Inside Scoop: Dating Profile Examples For Men
2. Introduce Yourself in Your Dating Profile
There’s a lot to be said for introducing oneself in their dating profile, but so very few of us do it.
Here’s how simple it is:
“Hi, I’m Mark :)”
Simple, friendly and it shows that this guy has manners. He’s approachable, too. Heck, even I’m thinking of messaging him!
And that’s what it’s all about. If you introduce yourself in your very first line, you’re already attracting the right energy by showing people you were raised well!
Then, you transition to the next line. Speaking of that …
3. Be Short, Snappy and Compelling in the Profile's Bio
Now, exactly how you write your online dating profile will vary from platform to platform. We have an article all about writing online dating profiles for different sites here.
However, the trick for any site is to keep your profile short, snappy, and compelling. How do you do all three?
- Short – Keep your total character to a normal/readable amount. On Tinder, it’s going to be less than it is on OK Cupid and Match
- Snappy – Introduce yourself on the first line, then have a line break. Then, add another 1-2 lines of text, before another line break. Then, add another 1-2 lines of text followed by either one more line of text or some emojis. Breaking up the text is important because it makes your profile so much more readable
- Compelling – Make sure to elicit curiosity at some point (see below), ask questions and keep your text conversational (see below, too)
Inside Scoop: Online Dating Profile Examples For Women
4. Be Conversational
It’s a good sign if you can use language that flows and engages people.
“Hey, how’s it going? I know what you’re thinking – yet another dating profile you have to read through! Well, here’s the deal and I’ll keep it brief: I’m looking for some laughs, some fun and possibly even some romance. Sound good?”
The person writing this is already having a conversation with you and engaging you. They’re arousing interest and asking questions while also showcasing their personality.
5. Be Slick
If you’re not confident of pulling off a conversational style, you could make your profile slicker.
“Erica. 28. Obsessed with pizza. Will sing in public if a Backstreet Boys song comes on.”
It’s simple, straight-to-the-point. It’s got a bit of wit and it’s compelling enough for someone to have an entry point to a conversation. Plus, anyone can write it. Alternatively, you could use bullet points to list your interests while keeping it slick. Like this:
- Game of Thrones
- Will sing in public if a Backstreet Boys song comes on
Whatever you list in your bullets has to mean something to you. For example, if you’re a tall girl and you think this matters, list it. If you’re vegetarian and this matters, list it.
6. Have Some Structure
Like a lot of the advice in this article, this isn’t set in stone and it depends what dating site you’re on. But it’s always a good idea to give your online dating profile some structure so that you guide the readers eye.
For example, you could open with an introduction. “Hey, I’m Jill.”
Then, you could write briefly your interests, before talking briefly about yourself … before ending with what you’re looking for. Like this:
“Hey, I’m Jill *insert emoji*
Vegan, hipster, metal music, illustration.
Looking for someone who laughs at themselves as much as I do.”
7. Be Specific
You know which dating profiles suck? The general ones. They look like this:
“Netflix, music and wine.”
Who doesn’t like Netflix, music and alcohol? A profile like this will attract every man and his dog … but it might not attract the type of person you’re genuinely looking for.
To save you time, you need to cut to the chase by being specific.
This means talking (briefly) about the kind of films and music you love.
If you like art, don’t just say ‘art’ because that could literally mean any type of art. Get specific and attract the person you want to attract.
8. Use Emojis 😉
While you definitely should not rely on emojis only, it’s always a good idea to chuck them in there.
Emojis show that you’ve got a sense of fun, and they’re also a good way of demonstrating your interests without you writing too much.
It’s like I said earlier – your profile should ideally be short, snappy, but compelling. If you decide to list every single interest, you’ll ruin all of that because it will just be too gosh darn much.
So how about using emojis to fill in the blanks?
For example, if you love watching movies, add the popcorn emoji. If you love sunshine, sprinkle your profile with the sunshine emoji. If you’re from a different country, add your country’s flag.
Emojis are easy on the eye, they grab attention and they help to flaunt your personality. Use ‘em.
9. Don’t List The Things You Dislike
I’ve seen profiles like this before:
“Not looking for ___ Don’t like ___ So if this is you, keep jogging.”
It’s so negative and off-putting. Why would anyone want to message someone who’s already being really confrontational?
All you have to do is flip that so that it looks like this:
“Looking for ___! Love ___! So if this sounds like you, hit me up?!”
See how much more positive, friendly, and inviting that is?
While stating what you’re not looking for will filter out people you’re not interested in, so will stating what you are looking for. And this latter option is much more appealing.
10. Elicit Curiosity
One of the problems I see with bad dating profiles is that they just don’t leave any bait in there. There’s nothing for me to get curious about and use to start a conversation.
It’s like this: If your online dating profile reads “Hey, if you like my pics message me! Not sure what else to put here?” You’re making it very hard on yourself to attract someone interesting.
What on earth can they open with?
Personally, I like to see a bit of bait in a profile that I can use to get a conversation going.
Now, this can be anything but here’s an example. Let’s say you have an unusual job. While you don’t have to draw a lot of attention to it by saying “LOOK WHAT I DO AREN’T I UNIQUE?”’ You should list it in your profile. That way, you might get someone who comes along and asks for ‘3 chances to guess your job.’
Other ways you can elicit curiosity:
- Add a country you once lived in or traveled to
- Say you’ve recently moved to the area
- Upload a pic of your pet (“aww, what’s its name?”)
- Ask a question in your profile
You just need something that’s an entry point for someone. Don’t make it hard for everyone to approach you with something other than “hey.”
11. Be Positive At All Times
The easiest way to appear positive in your dating profile is to:
- Use emojis (see above)
- Use exclamation marks (but not too many)
- Ask a question
- Talk about the things you love
- Smile in your pics
I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being negative in your profile and talking about nihilism, how life sucks, and how the world is broken … but negative vibes attract negative people. You have to think about who you want to attract. If you want someone positive and easygoing, you need to project that vibe with your profile.
12. Be Honest
I get that it’s not easy to say you have kids on your online dating profile if you have ‘em. But you have to do it.
If you leave this bit blank, you’re only going to set yourself up for disappointment later on when you mention them.
“Can you pass the salt? OH, BTW I HAVE 4 KIDS.”
It’s the same as your age. Be honest about your age and everything else, from your career to your current job. Don’t lie on your profile 🙂
Honesty is the best policy on dating sites because you will attract the vibe you put out. If you’re 100% upfront about having two kids straight off the bat, you will attract exactly the kind of person you’re looking for. In other words, a kind, caring, grown-up gentleman.
As opposed to a player who’s going to flat-out block you as soon as you drop the bombshell, leaving you dejected.
13. Don’t Reveal Everything
Honesty about major things like your age and whether you have kids or not is one thing, but that doesn’t mean you have to reveal everything on your dating profile.
What do I mean by this?
Well, look. Having a few kids in tow is a major dealbreaker for many people, which means you should list it in your profile. On the other hand, opening up your heart about why you’re here in the first place isn’t something everyone needs to know immediately. So cut that out.
As I said earlier, you need to stay positive and light on your profile. Anything that bares your soul needs to stay reserved for the 2am phone calls to your best mate for now.
Writing a dating profile shouldn’t seem like rocket science. I mean, it’s both a science and an art and it will take so time for you to get it right. But that’s okay. Use the tips in this article, write a profile and then see what happens next. If you’re still not getting the results you wanted, just keep making minor tweaks as you go along.