I’ve heard it many times …
“No one messages me! Am I ugly? Guess I should quit right now and adopt loads of cats.”
A quick perusal of their online dating profile tells me all I need to know: It’s just not good enough.
Anyone with an attractive dating profile can attract the right sort of person they’re looking for. But actually, crafting that superstar profile in the first? Well, that can often be the tricky bit.
The good news is that you’re in luck today because I’ve created a rundown of the top tips for writing a perfect online dating profile that will have all eyes on you.
The even better news is that anyone can implement these hacks to get more matches and attract more quality singles on regular basis.
10 Tips to Write a Perfect Online Dating Profile
1. The recipe For Perfect Profile Photos
Let’s get the non-writing bit out of the way first.
Your profile photos are your prime real estate. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a 10/10 or a 5/10, if you choose the right pics, you can get a lot of interest.
The problem is that too many singles choose the wrong pics. They upload only headshots, or they filter them heavily.
If you upload just headshots, you’ll look like you’ve got something to hide. It’s the same with heavily filtered photos. They’re not real.
And how about those photos where you’re looking away from the camera? People want to see your face, people!
Dos and Don't of choosing the right profile photos:
- Use your recent photos only because you don't want to get your first date to get awkward.
- Use a pic of you holding a puppy (honestly, it’s adorable and people will swipe just for the puppy).
- Use full body shots as well as headshots.
- Use a profile photo of you smiling rather than doing a sexy pout.
- Whatever you’re doing, smile in at least 75% of your pics.
- Avoid using sunglasses or anything that hides your face.
- Ask a friend for your best pics (we always choose our worst pics when left to our own devices).
2. Avoid Selfies
It's important to remember that you should showcase the full version of yourself, not just your best features. This means that your profile pictures should be a realistic representation of your current self, without any heavy filters or pictures from years ago.
To truly capture your personality and give others an idea of who you are, it's recommended to include at least three to five photos. These photos should provide a reflection of your life and interests, without overloading the profile with too many images.
Remember, the key is to showcase a balanced and authentic depiction of yourself so that potential matches can get a real sense of who you are as a person.
3. Be Aware of Your Photos' Background
You probably don't realize it but the background can say a lot about you and even be a turn-off for potential matches. For instance, a messy or cluttered background can give the impression that you're disorganized or unkempt.
Similarly, a background that's too revealing or inappropriate can give the wrong impression of your personality.
Therefore, it's recommended to choose a background that's clean, neutral, and reflective of your personality. A great background can add depth to your photos and make you look more attractive to potential matches.
3. Be Short, Snappy, and Compelling in the Bio
Now, exactly how you write your online dating profile will vary from platform to platform. We have an article all about writing online dating profiles for different sites here.
However, the trick for any app is to keep your profile short, snappy, and compelling. How do you do all three?
- Short – Keep your total character to a normal/readable amount. On Tinder, it’s going to be less than it is on OkCupid and Match.
- Snappy – Introduce yourself on the first line, then have a line break. Then, add another 1-2 lines of text, before another line break. Then, add another 1-2 lines of text followed by either one more line of text or some emojis. Breaking up the text is important because it makes your profile so much more readable
- Compelling – Make sure to elicit curiosity at some point (see below), ask questions and keep your text conversational (see below, too)
4. Elicit Their Curiosity
One of the problems I see with bad dating profiles is that they just don’t leave any bait in there. There’s nothing for me to get curious about and use to start a conversation.
It’s like this: If your online dating profile reads “Hey, if you like my pics message me! Not sure what else to put here?” You’re making it very hard on yourself to attract someone interesting.
What on earth can they use as a good conversation starter?
Personally, I like to see a bit of bait in a profile that I can use to get a conversation going.
Now, this can be anything but here’s an example. Let’s say you have an unusual job. While you don’t have to draw a lot of attention to it by saying “LOOK WHAT I DO AREN’T I UNIQUE?”’ You should list it in your profile. That way, you might get someone who comes along and asks for ‘3 chances to guess your job.’
Other ways you can elicit curiosity:
- Add a country you once lived in or traveled to
- Say you’ve recently moved to the area
- Upload a pic of your pet (“aww, what’s its name?”)
- Ask a question in your profile
You just need something that’s an entry point for someone. Don’t make it hard for everyone to approach you with something other than “hey.”
5. Use Emojis in Your Bio to Catch Attention 😉
While you definitely should not rely on emojis only, it’s always a good idea to chuck them in there.
Emojis show that you’ve got a sense of fun, and they’re also a good way of demonstrating your interests without you writing too much.
It’s like I said earlier – your profile should ideally be short, and snappy, but compelling. If you decide to list every single interest, you’ll ruin all of that because it will just be too gosh darn much.
So how about using emojis to fill in the blanks?
For example, if you love watching movies, add the popcorn emoji. If you love sunshine, sprinkle your profile with the sunshine emoji. If you’re from a different country, add your country’s flag.
Emojis are easy on the eye, they grab attention and help to flaunt your personality. Use ‘em.
6. Have Some Structure
Like a lot of the advice in this article, this isn’t set in stone and it depends on what dating app you’re on. But it’s always a good idea to give your online dating profile some structure so that you guide the reader's eye.
For example, you could open with an introduction. “Hey, I’m Jill.”
Then, you could write briefly your interests, before talking briefly about yourself … before ending with what you’re looking for. Like this:
“Hey, I’m Jill *insert emoji*
Vegan, hipster, metal music, illustration.
Looking for someone who laughs at themselves as much as I do.”
7. Be Conversational or Slick
It’s a good sign if you can use language that flows and engages people.
Examples:
“Hey, how’s it going? I know what you’re thinking – yet another dating profile you have to read through! Well, here’s the deal and I’ll keep it brief: I’m looking for some laughs, some fun and possibly even some romance. Sound good?”
The person writing this is already having a conversation with you and engaging you. They’re arousing interest and asking questions while also showcasing their personality.
However……
If you’re not confident about pulling off a conversational style, you could make your profile slicker.
Example:
“Erica. 28. Obsessed with pizza. Will sing in public if a Backstreet Boys song comes on.”
It’s simple, the straight-to-the-point. It’s got a bit of wit and it’s compelling enough for someone to have an entry point to a conversation. Plus, anyone can write it. Alternatively, you could use bullet points to list your interests while keeping it slick.
Like this:
- Pizza
- Sunshine
- Game of Thrones
- Will sing in public if a Backstreet Boys song comes on
Whatever you list in your bullets has to mean something to you. For example, if you’re a tall girl and you think this matters, list it. If you’re vegetarian and this matters, list it.
8. Be Honest with What You're Looking For
I get that it’s not easy to say you have kids on your online dating profile if you have ‘em. But you have to do it.
If you're looking for a committed relationship or hookups, tell them in your bio.
If you leave this bit blank, you’re only going to set yourself up for disappointment later on when you mention them.
“Can you pass the salt? OH, BTW I HAVE 4 KIDS.”
It’s the same as your age. Be honest about your age and everything else, from your career to your current job. Don’t lie on your profile 🙂
Honesty is the best policy on dating sites and the dating world in general because you will attract the vibe you put out. If you’re 100% upfront about having two kids straight off the bat, you will attract the right person or an ideal person, or even a perfect person.
In other words, a kind, caring, grown-up gentleman. As opposed to a player who’s going to flat-out block you as soon as you drop the bombshell, leaving you dejected.
9. Avoid Being negative
I’ve seen profiles like this before:
“Not looking for ___ Don’t like ___ So if this is you, keep jogging.”
It’s so negative and off-putting. Why would anyone want to message someone who’s already being really confrontational?
All you have to do is flip that so that it looks like this:
“Looking for ___! Love ___! So if this sounds like you, hit me up?!”
See how much more positive, friendly, and inviting that is?
While stating what you’re not looking for will filter out people you’re not interested in, so will stating what you are looking for. And this latter option is much more appealing.
I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being negative in your profile and talking about nihilism, how life sucks, and how the world is broken … but negative vibes attract negative people. You have to think about who you want to attract. If you want someone positive and easygoing, you need to project that vibe with your profile.
The easiest way to appear positive in your dating profile is to:
- Use emojis (see above)
- Use exclamation marks (but not too many)
- Ask a question
- Talk about the things you love
- Smile in your pics
10. Check Your Profile For Any Grammatical or Spelling Mistakes
I can't believe I've to mention this but avoid making spelling mistakes and using poor grammar mistakes if you want to get more right swipes
Takeaway:
Writing a dating profile shouldn’t seem like rocket science. I mean, it’s both a science and an art and it will take so much time for you to get it right. But that’s okay. Use the tips in this article, write a profile, and then see what happens next. If you’re still not getting the results you wanted, just keep making minor tweaks as you go along.
Profiles are so hard to do, I have found that the best time to do them is when you are on a high, feeling good about yourself, that is when the good you feel about yourself just flows out, make a copy and send it to a friend to read and then post it, and same for the profile shot I got a friend to come over and made it a fun event, kept the alcohol away and just tried to get my best shot out there. The advice above was really useful too, I just wanted to share my tips too.