When a Narcissist Sees You’ve Moved On: The Games Are Just Beginning

So, you’ve finally done it. You’ve walked away from the narcissist in your life, found your peace, and started moving on. Life feels lighter, brighter, and—dare we say—happier. But wait! Just when you think you’re free, the narcissist reappears, ready to stir things up again. Sound familiar?

Here’s the thing about narcissists: they don’t take losing control lightly. When they realize you’re no longer under their spell, they’ll do whatever it takes to get your attention back. And trust me, their playbook is packed with mind games. But don’t worry—we've got you covered.

In this article, we’ll explore the sneaky tactics narcissists use when they see you’ve moved on and, more importantly, how to handle them like a pro.

1. The “Let’s Be Friends” Trap

Narcissists love to slide back into your life under the guise of friendship. They’ll act all casual, saying things like, “We were such great friends, let's not throw that away.”

Pro Tip: Don’t fall for it! Friendship with a narcissist is just another way for them to keep tabs on you. Politely but firmly shut the door.

Example: Imagine getting a random text saying, “Hey! Just wanted to see how you’re doing.” They’re not checking in because they care—they’re testing the waters.

2. The Social Media Stalking

Ever noticed how they suddenly start liking your old posts or commenting on your vacation pictures? That’s their way of saying, “I’m still here.” They might even post things that seem suspiciously aimed at you.

How to handle it: Block, mute, or go on a social media detox. Out of sight, out of mind.

3. The Sudden Glow-Up

One day, they’re a mess, and the next, they’re posting gym selfies, showing off their new life, and making sure you see it. They want you to think they’re thriving without you.

Reality check: It’s all for show. Stay focused on your own journey, and don’t take the bait.

4. The “I’ve Changed” Performance

Brace yourself for the dramatic monologue. They’ll claim they’ve had a “wake-up call” and are now a whole new person. They may even throw in some therapy talk for good measure.

Pro Tip: Actions speak louder than words. If they were truly different, you wouldn’t have to hear about it—they’d just be better.

5. The Flying Monkeys

No, not actual monkeys—but mutual friends, family members, or even co-workers they recruit to check in on you or guilt-trip you. Suddenly, people you haven’t spoken to in ages are asking, “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?”

Solution: Politely shut down the conversation. A simple, “I’m good, thanks!” works wonders.

6. The Random “Oops” Encounters

It’s no coincidence they suddenly show up at your favorite coffee shop or start hanging out where you work. These “accidental” meetings are staged.

Pro Tip: Stay cool, don’t engage, and move on with your day.

7. The Pity Party

If charm and manipulation don’t work, they’ll switch to playing the victim. Expect sob stories, health scares, or emotional appeals to make you feel bad for leaving.

Stay strong: Remind yourself that their problems are not your responsibility.

8. The Guilt Trip Express

They’ll bring up all the “good times” and everything they did for you, making you question your decision. “After all I’ve done for you, you’re just walking away?” Sound familiar?

Don’t buy it: Your well-being is more important than their guilt trips.

9. The New Partner Parade

Oh look, they’ve suddenly found someone new—and they’re making sure you know about it. Posting nonstop about their “soulmate” and throwing in some not-so-subtle digs? Yep, classic move.

Your move: Ignore it. Their new relationship is likely just another game.

10. The Over-the-Top Apology

A grand gesture—a handwritten letter, a surprise visit, or a long, heartfelt message—will suddenly appear, but don’t be fooled. It’s usually just another way to pull you back in.

Remember: An apology without real change is just manipulation in disguise.

11. The “I’m Doing Better Than You” Act

They’ll exaggerate their success, showing off how amazing life is without you. Whether it’s a new job, a new car, or just an exaggerated glow-up, it’s all about making you feel like you lost out.

Your response: Keep thriving in your own way, and don’t compare.

12. The Blame Game

Suddenly, you’re the bad guy in their story. They’ll twist the narrative and tell others you were the problem all along.

Solution: Don’t engage. The truth speaks for itself.

13. The Emotional Rollercoaster

One day they’re angry and accusing you of ruining their life, and the next they’re sweet and understanding. This back-and-forth keeps you emotionally drained.

Stay steady: Set clear boundaries and stick to them.

14. The Disappearing Act

Sometimes, narcissists pull away completely, hoping their absence will make you come crawling back. But here’s the secret—they’re just waiting to see if you’ll reach out first.

What to do: Stay strong and enjoy the peace.

15. The Sudden Crisis

They’ll create some emergency—whether financial, health-related, or personal—to lure you back into their chaos.

Stay firm: Resist the urge to “rescue” them. They’ll be just fine without you.

16. The “I’m So Happy for You” Facade

Don’t be fooled if they act all supportive and encouraging. Often, it’s just a sneaky way to stay in your orbit.

Keep moving: You don’t need their approval to be happy.

17. The Gaslighting 2.0

If you hear things like “You’re overreacting” or “You always misinterpret things,” they’re trying to rewrite history and make you doubt yourself again.

Reality check: Trust your gut and remember why you left.

18. The Fake Self-Improvement

They might suddenly get into yoga, therapy, or “self-love” to impress you. But if it’s all for show, it won’t last.

What to do: Keep focusing on your real growth.

19. The Smear Campaign

If all else fails, they’ll start spreading rumors or twisting the truth to turn others against you.

Stay above it: Let your actions speak louder than their words.

20. The Silent Treatment

If they’re ignoring you completely, don’t take it personally. This is just another manipulation tactic to get a reaction.

Your best bet: Enjoy the quiet and keep moving forward.

Conclusion: Stay Strong and Keep Moving

Dealing with a narcissist after you’ve moved on can feel exhausting, but remember—you’ve already won by choosing yourself. Every tactic they use is just a desperate attempt to regain control, but you hold the power now.

Stay focused on your happiness, keep your boundaries firm, and don’t look back. You’ve got this!

Final Thought: Moving on is your superpower. Keep shining, keep thriving, and let them play their games alone.

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About Dxp Team

The DXP Team is a dedicated group of writers, journalists, and bloggers with a deep connection to the online dating world. Our personal experiences, combined with professional expertise, allow us to bring authentic and relatable advice to our audience. We go beyond just sharing tips — we aim to be your trusted resource in navigating the complexities of modern dating. From practical advice and honest reviews to insightful guides, our team works tirelessly to create content that resonates with your journey. Whether you're new to online dating or looking to refine your approach, the DXP Team is here to support you every step of the way.