15 Clear Signs An Older Woman Wants You

More women are dating younger men than ever before – which means there’s every chance that knowing glance an older woman gave you means she might be into you. 

Research has shown that 34% of single women are dating younger men so it's safe to say it's not that uncommon. This is contrary to the long-held belief that, while it’s perfectly okay for men to date younger men, it’s not okay for women to date younger men.

This simply isn’t true anymore. And because older women – call them cougars, call them MILFs, call them whatever you want – know this isn’t true, you’ll notice that more and more of them are growing in confidence when it comes to showing younger men that they want them.

So if you’re keen on dating an older woman and want to know what her choosing signals are?

Read on as we take a look at…

15 signs an older woman wants you

Body Language Signs: If you can understand even the rudimentary elements of body language, there’s every chance you’ll understand when an older woman desires you. She will do things, look a certain way and touch you in a way that is a dead giveaway as to how she feels about the situation. 

1. She Bites Her Lips While Talking to You 

Women tend to bite their lips when they’re nervous – or when they’re aroused.

If an older woman is into you, this is one of her subtest signs. 

And she won’t just bite her lips – she might also caress them gently with her fingers.

Lips are, of course, very sexual, and it’s through lip play that a woman shows that she wants to kiss you, lick you and do all kinds of things to you.

She may even be biting her lips subconsciously. But if she does it while she’s in your company, take it as a strong sign that she wants you. 

2. She Maintains Eye Contact 

No, a cougar won’t stare deep into your eyes at all times. 

But she will lock eyes with you so that you know you’ve got her attention.

When a woman gazes into your eyes as though she’s under your spell, it means she’s listening to what you’re saying, but at the same time, she’s also fantasizing about what it would feel like to be touched by you.

You must look back into her eyes. Don’t stare at her all the time (that would be creepy!), but if she’s giving you eye contact, the least you can do is return it.

3. She Can't Keep Her Hands Off You 

When a woman touches a man, it’s one of the strongest signs that she’s into him.

Despite this, many men continue to misread the situation.

Naturally, there are different types of touches. But if a woman playfully punches your arm, tries to rearrange your collar or tie, or perhaps even gently caresses your thigh, it’s a huge sign that she’s into you. 

Touch is, of course, incredibly arousing. When a woman touches a man, it can set all kinds of chemicals off that can trigger attraction. And the thing is that a woman knows this – which is why she does it.

4. She Mirrors Your Actions

Imagine you’re chatting with a cougar. You fold your arms, and she folds hers.

You stroke your chin, and she strokes hers.

You take a sip of your beer, and she takes a sip of her drink. 


Not really

Instead, this is her subconscious way of getting into rapport with you.

And she does it because she’s attracted to you.

So the next time you’re with an older woman, see if she mirrors your actions. If you sit back in your chair, see if she sits back in hers. If you lean forward, see if she leans forward. 

5. She Dresses to Kill 

If an older woman turns up to meet you and literally covers everything up, it’s probably not a good sign. Maybe she’s just not that into you, huh?

On the other hand, if she turns up and exposes parts of her body – especially her cleavage, legs, neck – there’s every chance she’s trying to turn you on. She’s dressed this way for you

Signs in The Way She Behaves: They say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Therefore, is there really any way to understand why a woman behaves the way she does? Yes and No. But an older woman will have a fixed set of behaviors she falls back on when she wants you. 

6. She Flirts With You 

Yes, women flirt with men they like, but they are necessarily sexually attracted. 

Heck, sometimes they flirt with their male friends a little. After all, flirting is fun; it releases endorphins, and it makes us feel good. 

But if an older woman is openly flirting with you and being sexual simultaneously, there’s every chance she wants you.

Please pay close attention to her body language when she flirts with you. Is she playing with her hair simultaneously, biting her lips, gazing into your eyes? Is she smiling suggestively? Does she playfully touch you?

And is it clear that she wants you to flirt back? And is she enjoying this so much that there’s obviously a spark between the two of you? 

Make sure to flirt back, by the way. A woman wants you to be good at flirting, and she wants you to (gently) tease her. Do it.  

7. She’s Acts Hot and Cold 

Older women don’t tend to play games. While a younger woman might disrupt your flow with some seriously hot and cold behavior, an older woman will only go hot and cold to see how you’ll react. 


To see how interested you are in her. 

One moment she might be chatty and smiley, and the next, she might be distant and moody. All women can be like this when they’re getting to know a dude, which means she’s sending you choosing signals. She wants to see how you’ll react. 

And if you desire her enough, you’ll ask her out. 

8. She Laughs a Lot 

A famous actor once said that after you’ve made a woman laugh, the next step is sex.

The next step isn’t always sex – but making a woman laugh helps build a bond between the two of you that can eventually lead to sex. 

If an older woman is laughing at your jokes, and especially if she’s laughing more than usual, it’s a clear sign that she’s into you. Maybe she giggles a lot too and playfully punches you on the arm. 

9. She Looks Thoughtfully at You 

You know that look a woman gives when she’s really listening to you? 

She looks into your eyes, but she isn’t smiling, and neither is she looking moody or deadly serious. Instead, she’s looking thoughtfully at your eyes as though she’s weighing things up in her mind. 

It’s the kind of look that means you’ve cast a spell over an older woman. You’ve captured her imagination and attention, and she’s staring into your eyes, thinking, “I like this guy.” No matter what’s going on around you at that moment, she has only eyes and thoughts for you. 

10. She Asks You a lot of Questions 

Older women know what types of questions to ask a guy. They know exactly what to get you talking about.

And when a woman starts asking you questions and takes a keen interest in your life? It means she’s eager to learn more about you – probably because she likes you.

On the other hand, if a woman really wasn’t interested at all, she wouldn’t ask any questions and would let the conversation die out naturally. 

Signs in Her Conversations: Lastly, pay very close attention to what she's saying to you. Older women reveal everything via their conversation, so it’s important that you listen to them and interpret their conversation correctly. 

11. She Tells You She’s Single

Imagine you’re talking to a woman when she tells you she recently broke up with her partner or that she’s been single for a while. 

Why would she share this information with you if she wasn’t interested in you?

It’s a good question – and the answer is that she wouldn’t share this information unless she really wanted you to know her relationship status.

If she tells you she’s single, she’s (not very subtly) telling you she’s into you. 

12. She Wants to Learn About You

We’ve all been on dates with women who keep the conversation to themselves. These women are often self-absorbed, dull – and so into themselves that it’s practically impossible for them to be into you.

If, on the other hand, you get talking to an older woman who’s curious to learn more about you, take it as read that she’s doing it for a reason – and the reason is generally that she’s learning more about you to see if the two of you are compatible. 

If she asks you questions such as “what’s your relationship with your parents?” or “have you ever thought about having children?” she’s basically vetting you. 

And if you give answers that she disagrees with? Well, the two of you probably won’t date! No biggie.

13. She Wants to Sit Next to You When You Talk 

Maybe she’ll say something like, “Hey, it’s so loud in here, I can barely hear you. Perhaps it’s better if I move closer to you?”

And while it seems as though she’s just trying to hear your bet (and maybe she is), this is often a VERY strong sign that a woman is into you.

There are two things at play here: First, she’s determined to hear you better, which means she wants to hear what you have to say. She’s interested in you and respects you enough to be able to hear the conversation. 

Second, she’s kinda making an excuse to get closer to you. 

14. She Tells You She Trusts You 

I remember the first time a girl said she trusted me. I told my buddy, and he said, “yeah, she’s friend-zoned you.”

The thing is, that’s not strictly true. Girls don't trust men easily. And older women – who have enough experience to know when a man is bullshitting them – trust guys even less easily.

So when a woman says that she trusts you, she’s essentially confiding in you, telling you that you mean something to her.

And believe me – that’s a huge deal. 

15. She Compliments You 

While it’s true that older women compliment younger guys on being nice and because it’s a nice thing to do, if you’re hanging out with her and she’s clearly paying you good compliments and making you smile, you can take it as a sign she wants you.

Remember, good compliments don’t always come easily. If she says you have a great smile, great hair, or maybe even a good body, she’s conveying to you that she’s impressed by you, she likes you – and she maybe even wants to have sex with you. 

Similar Scoop: Cougar Dating Tips For Dating Older Women

About Will Titterington

Will is a writer, coach and life lover who enjoys helping people reach their potential. Will has plenty of experience with Online Dating. He loves to test different apps and sites and share his experience on DatingXP. He loves art, sports, connecting with new people from all over the world, and making people laugh.