15 Subtle Signs He Is Talking To Someone Else

No one wants to admit it when their man is talking to someone else.

But there are a few warning signs you need to look out for to know what to do next. 

Female intuition is rarely wrong.

And, if you've gut instinct then you shouldn't ignore red flags.

But when it comes to guys, it can be thrown off-track, simply because guys can be complex creatures that are hard to work out.

The problem for guys is that whenever they're talking to someone else, they have telltale clues that give them away without realizing it. Maybe they'll suddenly become less available than usual, or they become really protective over their phone.

Whatever situation you're currently in – whether you're dating someone new and want to find out if you've got a rival, or whether you're in a long-term emotional and physical relationship and need to know if he's cheating on you – the somewhat positive news is that all guys tend to exhibit the same behavior when they're seeing else.

So come join us as we find out how worried you really need to be – or whether you have nothing to worry about at all. 

15 Signs He Is Talking To Someone Else

1. He's Less Available Than He Used To Be

Remember when he was always available to chat or hang out?

You'd text him randomly at 9 pm and ask if you can phone him now.

“Sure!” he responded with enthusiasm.

Or how about the time you asked if he had plans tomorrow?

“I do – but I can break them for you.”

Maybe he even passed on sports for you.

On the other hand, if he's way less available now than ever before, there might be an issue.

Now, his newfound unavailability doesn't mean that he's talking to someone else. He might have a good reason for being busy all of a sudden, or he may have sadly lost some interest. 

But you should still be on your guard if he's less available, especially if other things don't add up (see below). 

2. His Phone Goes Off a Lot When You're Together 

Like the above, just because he gets a lot of phone calls, messages, and notifications while you're in his company, that doesn't guarantee he's for sure talking to someone else. If nothing else, it means that he's certainly popular.

And who knows who's sending him all those texts? It could be a guy friend, or it could even be a family member.

What's more important to note is:

  • The frequency of these messages he's receiving over the course of a week or so.
  • His response rate.
  • His body language, the way he reacts whenever his phone rings.

Does he act sheepishly and guilty whenever he gets a barrage of texts in your company? Does he maybe slyly glance at them when he thinks you're not looking before emitting a smile? 

Moreover, does he try as best as possible to make sure you never see who's texted him? (Maybe he turns his phone upside down on the table). 

If so, these are all warning signs that he might be seeing someone else. 

3. He's Developed New Tastes in Music 

What reason could there be for a man suddenly developing new tastes in music?

It's usually because he's been introduced to something by someone else … and that someone else may well be a woman who he can't get enough of. 

4. He's Evasive About His Plans

The next time he announces that he's got “plans” with someone else but won't elaborate on who or where you should be on your guard.

Whenever a man is being honest and truthful about things, he will surely be more specific about his plans. Perhaps he will say something along the lines of, “I can't see you tonging because I and Jimmy are watching the game together at the bar.”

If, however, he says something like, “oh, I can't make it tonight, I'm going out,” but refuses to be anything other than vague, it's a red flag.


Because he a) feels guilty about hiding something from you and doesn't want to tell you a flat-out lie (but neither does he want to reveal to you the truth) and b) he won't name names because, if he is lying, the truth could easily come out. 

5. He's Defensive 

If you ask him what he's been up to and he asks you to stop bothering him, he's being defensive. And that's a bad sign. 

It's the same if you ask who he's texting. Yes, a man deserves privacy, as we all do. But if he gets super defensive when you question him on seemingly minor things, it suggests he has things to hide. 

6. He's Downloaded Dating Apps 

If your man has never used a specific app before, such as Snapchat or Tinder, but out of the blue, he downloads it, it might be because he's using it to talk to another woman. 

There's not much you can do about this except ask him why he's joined a new app. 

And if he started to spend time on social & dating apps, it's generally a bad sign. 

Just ask yourself a simple question “If He Likes You Why Is He Still Online Dating?

You know the answer already!

7. He Doesn't Invite You Out As Often 

Did your boyfriend occasionally invite you to hang out with him and his friends?

Perhaps he often asked you to hang out.

If so, pay close attention to how often he invites you out these days. If he's clearly going out with his friends and doing stuff with them but isn't inviting you anymore, it could be a sign that he's seeing someone else.

Note, however, that like many other points in this list, him not inviting you out doesn't mean that he's definitely not talking to someone else. Guys talk about random and weird stuff that they sometimes don't feel like sharing with their girls. It just means that you should be on your guard a little. Look out for other things that maybe don't add up.

Also, if he has a work party but doesn't invite you – that's kind of a bad sign. 

8. He's Happy To Keep Things Casual 

If he's indicated to you that he wants to keep things casual – or, indeed, if he's told you that he wants to keep things casual – it's more than likely that he's talking to other women and wants to keep his options open. 

No man who says he wants to keep things casual isn't exploring other options. 

9. He's Unreasonably Happy 

Everyone has the right to be happy, of course. 

But if you notice that your man always seems to be walking around with a smile on his face for no apparent reason, it could be because he's talking to another woman. 

For instance, if he goes to the bathroom (with his phone) and emerges with a grin on his face or otherwise looks really chirpy. 

Whenever guys are talking to other women, and whenever those women are saying all the right things to them, they will be walking around with a smile on their faces. They can't help it! And it's their constant happiness that often catches them out. 

So if your man is always happy at the moment, you could ask him, “What are you so happy about these days?” 

Naturally, he won't tell you the truth. But it will be interesting to see what he comes up with. 

10. He Openly Flirts With Other Women!

If a man can casually flirt with other women – be it the waitress who serves you or his female friend on Facebook – it doesn't necessarily mean that he's for sure talking to other women. But it does mean that he clearly isn't against talking to other women.

Moreover, he knows how to do it. 

However, if he blatantly checks out another woman then you should be more concerned.

11. He Won't Leave His Phone Lying Around 

Let's face it, guys are generally really careless about their stuff. They'll leave the toilet seat up, they'll forget where they've put the remote control – and they'll leave their phone lying around.

After all, it's just a phone.

But here's the thing: If a man is talking to another woman behind his girlfriend's back, he will never leave his phone lying around. And if he does, he will sheepishly return to pick it up as soon as possible. 

So watch out for how he behaves with his phone. Is he more protective of it than usual? Does he display a slight panic whenever he leaves it lying around by mistake? Does he go into more panic than usual if he can't find his phone?

And heaven forbid what would happen if his phone pinged and you picked it up first? If he reacts irrationally, it's a telltale sign that he's talking to someone he doesn't want you to know about. 

12. He's Started to Avoid Social Media 

Or maybe he isn't avoiding social media, but the way he uses social media is rather odd.

For instance, a classic tactic that a guy (or a girl) will employ is they will change their settings on Facebook and Instagram so that you can't see their “last seen” time anymore.

Neither can you see whether they're currently active or not.

This tactic is designed to hide the fact that they're online all the damn time, and they're certainly online more than usual.

Why could that possibly be the case?

It could be for any number of reasons. But if suddenly they don't want you to know, it might be because they're talking to another girl. 

You can, of course, challenge him on this one. You could casually and non-challengingly ask him why you suddenly can't see his last seen status on Facebook and Instagram. Maybe he has a good reason – maybe he doesn't.

13. He Takes Ages to Reply to You 

Suppose he used to reply to you almost instantly but is now taking forever to reply to even the smallest of messages. In that case, it can often mean that it's either because he's busy enjoying the company of someone else, or his head and mind are elsewhere.

In other words, he is thinking of someone else, and as such isn't prioritizing you as much. 

14. He Forgets Stuff He's Said to You

When a guy has eyes only for you, he will give you his full, undivided attention. It's only natural!

This means he will remember so much stuff. He'll remember what you've talked about, he'll remember planned dates and schedules, and he'll remember the things he's said.

If he's seeing someone else simultaneously, it becomes much harder for him to keep track of things.

For example, one of the things that often trip a guy up whenever he's talking to two girls at the same time is bringing someone up to Girl A that he actually talked to Girl B about. Girl A is confused and says, “We never talked about that.” He stutters, pauses, and thinks for a moment, and then says, “oooooh yeah, I must have talked about it with my friend.”


Or, it might be the case that he repeats something that he or you has already said previously! Not only is this sort of thing really annoying, but it's also a sign that he isn't paying attention … and that maybe he is talking to someone else. 

15. He's Vague About the Future 

Most people in a healthy relationship like to think and talk about the future. It's only natural!

But if your man is super vague about the future and doesn't like to talk about it, it could be because he's keeping his options open with other women and therefore doesn't want to commit to you too much as he has lost interest in you. 

The Scoop:

These are 15 signs he's talking to someone else. However, it's super important that you don't overreact if he's doing one or two of these things. It's not concrete evidence. Otherwise, it will hurt your love life. For instance, being vague about the future isn't enough to come to a guilty verdict. It could simply be that he's got other things on his mind. Instead, see how many of these signs are true. If 3, 4, 5 or more are visible, it's time to be on your guard and, when the time is right, to perhaps share your concerns with him. 

About Mary J. Gibson

Mary J. Gibson, director of DatingXP.co, is a renowned love and relationship coach whose expertise is widely acknowledged across the industry. Her insightful guidance and profound understanding of romantic relationships have earned her features in prestigious publications including Bustle, AskMen, Cosmopolitan, and Elite Daily. Committed to staying ahead of trends, she continually broadens her knowledge by conducting incisive interviews and forging dynamic relationships with emerging dating services, ensuring her advice remains relevant and impactful.