(This is a true story shared by one of our DatingXP followers. She has requested to keep her identity anonymous.)
Hi there! Let’s start with a brief story of my realization about my sexuality. I realized I was bisexual after accidentally kissing my bestie. Sadly, we were clueless and way too scared to admit it, back then.
Anyways, today I’m 22 and working, and have been using Tinder to find interesting dates. My Tinder bio clearly states that I’m into both genders. However, all I see is couples spamming my inbox these days, and let me tell you all – I’m not cool with it!
Why is the unicorn trend a problem?
Imagine clicking with someone attractive and then coming to the realisation that instead of he or she there are two people behind the scene. This scenario, the couple is looking for a Bi, i.e. a unicorn, to add flame to their sex life. This has, in fact, been a common Tindertrend recently and is quite confusing and misleading at the same time.
No judgments, if a couple needs some threesome fun, that’s completely fine!
However, such pairs must approach people who have clearly mentioned that they would love being the unicorn of their dreams. I mean expecting a lady on a video call and suddenly a man also comes free with it, ain’t that weird?
Usually, these couples make the imaginary presumption that all queer women are into being a unicorn. Well, I might be comfortable with both girls and dudes, but both in the same bed isn’t my thing. Moreover, I haven’t even mentioned my consent to be your unicorn baby.
Ladies, I know you love your guy but don’t expect me to go with it!
I met this pretty girl online, let’s call her Kiara. So, in her Tinder profile, Kiara clearly mentioned that she is Bi and is looking for a girl online. I right-swiped because she looked pretty and voila we matched and instantly clicked.
Things were cool and to have fun we decided that we’ll have a video chat but to my surprise, there was a guy as well in front of the screen. This incident sort of threw me off and also it was scary as well. Couples, a little suggestion – trickery won’t get you unicorns for your story.
The unicorn hunting is real and tricking femme queer ladies into a throuple is a common tale. If you need a unicorn, then building a sense of trust is necessary and tricking them in the beginning, is like starting matrimony with abduction. Which isn't a good thing and you guys can also be banned for it. Also, there are better apps out there to help you reach your throuple goals.
How to spot the hunters out there?
Just like me, anyone can fall into the trap of unicorn hunters.. However, with a close look into the profiles spotting these unicorn hunters is really easy. To spot them, just gotta keep your eyes open while using Tinder.
Whenever you right swipe profiles of beautiful gals, stay cautious of the red flags to steer clear of unicorn hunters. For instance, these profiles start with a unicorn bait i.e a catchy image of the female. Further, that picture will be accompanied by a few images of the couple as well. Furthermore, don’t get surprised if they are making out in these images, as that’s a common thing these days!
Hence if a Tinder profile sounds something similar, then I guess you know what to do, LEFT SWIPE them! Don’t take me wrong, dear couples, but making a fake account isn’t cool when you aim to bait an uninterested Bi.
If you are looking for a unicorn, state it clearly instead of creating a femme queer account and misguiding users.
A Throuple or just another emotional trauma?
Online dating apps are basically supposed to get me a date, not creepy hookup sessions. Just take a look at the snippet of most obviously nerve-wracking and insensitive messages that I received and you’ll know why I am pissed:
Them: Hi cutie
(Just ignore the extra e’s I was excited)
Them: We loved your profile. Wanna come over and have some fun?
Well, it felt devastating It was a woman’s profile and that’s what I was expecting what does she really mean by “we”! I felt as if I was being treated as a mere object who could spice up someone else’s dull bedroom scene. It looks like these so-called heterosexual couples think that I’m a mythical creature who can bless all their fantasies without needing anything.
In such relationships, there is no romance involved initially or after for the unicorn. They just expect me to be the third wheel in their story who’ll abide by their wishes without asking for love and care in return. .
This becomes such a turn off sometimes because I need love, support, care, concern and everything that a human soul deserves. However, when I get treated as a sex object and misguided by others I feel rejected and humiliated. As if my college bullies weren’t enough to make me realize that I wasn’t worth it.
The couples who believe that it’s fair to ask a woman for a random threesome, just one thing dude put yourself in our shoes! Is it logical to expect sexual pleasure from a woman without willing to offer them love and care? You all know it isn’t, but still, these couples can’t help but sexualize femme queer bodies which IS really bothersome.
The random hookup request and why they can be nerve-wracking?
I know that it's common to have hookup messages on dating sites. However, what if you get it after having a friendly bullying session at work or the usual I’m straight don’t try to hit on me? I hope you guys can understand what I mean.
After I walked out of my closet about my sexual identity, bullying, discrimination and harsh judgments from even close friends have been a routine. Just imagine an addition of random hookup requests where you are treated as nothing more than a new sex toy. It was hard for me already and is just becoming a bit more nerve-wracking with these online turn-offs.
I aimed to have a romantic thing for someone out there and I thought dating apps like Tinder might help. However, with all the unicorn hunting its only an annoyance to me. I feel like deleting all the dating accounts out there and let the universe take its route. As the love I was expecting has converted into nothing more than a hookup scene!
It feels as if the flirty Tinder playground has become an easy platform for heterosexual couples to prey on the mental peace of queer women. This experience has been quite an annoyance and is a hindrance in finding genuine people as well.
Moreover, there are apps out there which can help these heterosexual couples to search for a third wheel. I feel like that is a wiser option than wasting time on misleading others, like me.