How to Talk to Girls on Tinder (What to Say?)

So you have built a good Tinder profile for yourself, you have all the right pictures and your bio is well-written and solid. Let the matches begin! And they actually do.

So now what to say to your Tinder match?

How to start the talk & continue it?

And how on Earth are you supposed to get the date?

Here we have a few tips on what to do and what you definitely shouldn’t do if you want to improve your chances of her actually saying yes and agreeing to go on a date with you. Let’s begin!

How not to Start a Conversation on Tinder

Before imparting my wisdom on the things you should definitely do, I’d like to go over a couple of things that you definitely shouldn’t do. After all, how are you supposed to fix what you don’t know is broken?

So let’s see if any of these actually apply to you. If they don’t, all the better, you’re on your road to successful Tindering, but if they are, well, it’s time to reconsider some of your strategies my friend, because this might be the reason why you’re not getting as many dates as you wish.

Starting with something extremely explicit:

First, if you’re not looking for just hookups on Tinder, NEVER do this.

You’ll be hurting your possibilities of getting some real conversation right there. Now, if you’re actually looking for just flings…still, don’t start this way.

The possibilities of getting what you want by starting with some explicit message are not actually great.

Maybe you heard it work for someone else, but trust me, they are the 1% and they got lucky. Am I saying that no girl is looking for a hookup? No! There are girls looking for just that, which is exactly what you want.

But the majority of them don’t want you to just hit them with it, out of nowhere, before you have even exchanged two words with each other. So my advice is to be on the side of caution and actually start a conversation, test the waters and if you realize you both are looking for the same thing…well then go ahead, and explicit away.

Trust me, it’s more likely you’ll get that casual thing this way.

Another thing we can learn from this example is that even if you have an already prepared pickup line, choose if you should go through with it or not. And this applies to more mild ones too.

If you want to start with an opening line that involves a question but how the girl answers don’t go with the punch line, then switch strategies! It’s better than to try to go through with it and then have it fail because you didn’t try to adapt.


Ugh. Now, a little bit of self-deprecation can be funny or even endearing.

But you have to be careful with this one because a lot of times it just comes across as boring, sad or, sorry if I sound too harsh, pathetic. And is that really the things you want to inspire to that person that you haven’t even met?

Think about it, how attractive are people with this very low self-esteem? If you don’t like yourself then why should we like you?

So if you’re doing it to be funny, be careful.

And if you really feel this way, well then maybe you should try and think of the positive things you have going for you and focus on those instead of on what you consider to be your drawbacks!

Tell her she intimidates you

This one is a line that a lot of women get and trust me, it gets annoying. If she intimidates you then why are you approaching her?

What about her intimidates you?

Her beauty? So you are ugly.

Her success? So you are a loser.

Her intelligence? So you are dumb.

I don't say any of the former statements are true, but really, that’s how it reads, And that “you intimidate me” thing, says a lot more about you than about her. You'll fall on the low self-esteem spectrum, which is really something you should work on before going out there.

Not only to be able to get more dates but for yourself and your life in general. Disconcerted is the result you are more likely to get, and there’s not really a lot of places to go from there.

Demeaning pick-up lines

And remember that, you are a total stranger!

Right there with the explicit ones, there are the demeaning ones. Now, I’m not claiming that there aren’t some people that are into that, but getting it from a total stranger is probably not what we girls are looking for. Hence, you shouldn't say these lines to girls on Tinder.

So don’t be surprised when you never get an answer-back, get unmatched or find sarcasm directed towards you as a defense mechanism, because really, all you’re going to do is get her on the defensive, when what you really want is to get to know her, even if you’re not looking for something serious.

Inside Scoop: Funny Tinder Pickup Lines That Will Get You a Date.

Lame Puns

I know you have probably seen out there how making a joke or a poem with the girls’ name in it. It is a good way to start the conversation on Tinder. And it totally is!

But, just like trying to make an opening line work against all odds, if you the name thing bad, like insulting her or making fun of it, the most likely thing is that you’ll never get an answer,

Besides, remember that a name that might seem weird for you might be just a normal name wherever she or her parents are from, so don’t go around making fun of her name, because you probably get unmatched.

Inside Scoop: While these are some of the important things to avoid – there are still more to it and for that we recommend you reading our Tinder Etiquette article.

How to Start a Conversation on Tinder

Now that we’re done with the don’ts we can get started with the do’s! I sincerely hope that you’re not doing any of the prior things and if you are well, that’s all in the past! Now, let’s get ready for how to actually start the conversation and also, get that date!

A joke with her name, done right

I’ve seen it all, from poems to jokes, and they all are a good way to catch the girl’s attention.

The trick?

If you thought of it immediately the most likely thing is that someone already thought it –and sent it- first.

So make sure to give it a bit of thought and make it funny but original. Remember, the trick is to get a reaction, and making her laugh is one of the best reactions you can start with.

This one is a good example of making it funny without it being something terribly obvious that she might have gotten a thousand times already.

And this one is just making the best with what you were given, making a very unique name work in your favor.

Also, brownie points for being brave enough to go for it.

Remember, if you want to ask her out almost immediately, make sure your profile is awesome! She’ll probably double-check it before considering to agree.

Self-deprecation, done right

As I stated earlier, you can do a little bit of self-deprecation but be careful with how you do it.

A good way is to make a joke about dating or Tinder and how you might not be the best at it but to show that you’re willing to try.

That type of vulnerability can be adorable but it’s safe, it won’t make us think that you might start crying in the middle of a date or that you’re going to be a bore who is only going to talk about how sad your life is.

First of all, he made sure to start with something he saw on her profile, which is a great way to stand out from the rest and get her interest.

Second, he made a joke about himself using a lame pick up line, which is actually funny and relatable to everyone.

And third, and definitely the cherry on top, he went for the Snapchat right away, which shows that he’s interested in her, all jokes aside.

Inside Scoop: How to Super-Like on Tinder (Without Looking Creepy!)


We live in technological times in which memes are at everyone’s disposal, so why not use them?

Gifs are a great way to start talking with girls on Tinder. If you use something related to a specific topic, it can even be something for you guys to talk about. Furthermore, you have the “be funny” part practically guaranteed.

For example, this one is a funny one and, if you’re a Star Wars lover, you might find out that your match is one too, and this one is a great way to continue the conversation!

The first date trick

Now, there are a few variations of this one but they all have a pretty good chance of working like a charm.

What is it all about?

Introducing a joke or something enticing but that includes a comment regarding when your first Tinder date might be.

One that I saw a week ago was one in which the guy pretended to be her husband from the future and was arguing about where they had their first date, and could you please remind me?

Now, the genius of it is that first is funny –if absurd- second, you engage her with a question, and third, you even let her give you a suggestion of something to do for your first date!

So it’s a pretty solid way to break the ice, make it fun, and actually ask her out!

This is a variation of the prior one and it actually works pretty well.

Yes, the majority of girls love men hoodies, what can we say?

They’re crazy comfortable. So this is a good enticement, you’re offering something right away, and you can either make the fact that you’ll use it on your first date either a condition or just insert it as a comment, and it works like a charm!

So there you go, some advice on how to not only break the ice and talk to girls on Tinder but also be so smooth you’ll get that date in record time! Remember, the key is to be witty, but with just the right type of humor.

After all, you’re just getting to know her!

I know sometimes ”online thinks” make us feel closer or further apart from the other person, but in the end, we’re all humans and you should be respectful just as you would with any stranger on the street. This is especially true if you’re trying to go out with them!

Inside Scoop: Best Tinder Icebreakers