Congratulations, you've built a great Tinder profile with eye-catching pictures and a solid Tinder bio.
Matches are starting to pour in, but now comes the real challenge: what to say to your Tinder match?
Starting a conversation can be nerve-wracking, but fear not, we've got you covered.
In this article, we'll share some essential tips on how to start and continue a conversation with your Tinder match, and increase your chances of landing a date.
From witty openers to genuine interest in her life, we'll explore the dos and don'ts of Tinder messaging to help you stand out from the crowd. So whether you're a seasoned Tinder user or a newbie, read on for some valuable insights on how to take your conversations to the next level and secure that elusive date. Let's get started!
9 Tips to Talk to Girls on Tinder
1. Talk about something from her bio
To effectively connect with someone on Tinder, simply swiping right without any thought won't always yield positive results. It may seem like common sense, but taking the time to learn about the person you're interested in is crucial. By thoroughly reviewing their profile, including their photos and bio, you can gain valuable insight into their interests and preferences.
It will show her that you've paid attention to these details can earn you extra points in their eyes.
For Outdoor lovers: “Hey, I noticed you love the outdoors! What's your favorite hiking spot?”
For Foodies: “Hi! I couldn't help but notice that you're a foodie. Have you tried any great new restaurants lately?”
For Pet lovers: “Aww, you have a dog! What's their name? I have a dog too and I love hearing about other people's furry friends.”
For travelers: “Hey, I saw that you're a travel enthusiast! Where's the most interesting place you've ever been?”
2. Ask thoughtful and genuine questions
When you're having a conversation, it's possible that they may bring up a topic that piques your interest. In this situation, it's important to respond in a way that both acknowledges what they said and shows that you're engaged in the conversation.
Rather than simply giving a generic response, try to incorporate something specific from their previous statement and ask a follow-up question related to it. This shows that you're actively listening and interested in learning more about them.
For example, you could say “That's really interesting that you've traveled to Thailand before. What was your favorite place of the trip?”
Here are some more examples of Tinder questions you can ask.
What's your favorite type of cuisine?
Do you have any travel plans coming up?
What's the best concert you've ever been to?
What's your favorite hobby or activity to do in your free time?
What's the most interesting book you've read recently?
3. Tell her a joke with her name in it
I’ve seen it all, from poems to jokes, and they all are a good way to catch the girl’s attention.
If you thought of it immediately the most likely thing is that someone already thought it –and sent it- first.
So make sure to give it a bit of thought and make it funny but original. Remember, the trick is to get a reaction, and making her laugh is one of the best reactions you can start with.
This one is a good example of making it funny without it being something terribly obvious that she might have gotten a thousand times already.
And this one is just making the best of what you were given, making a very unique name work in your favor.
Also, brownie points for being brave enough to go for it.
Remember, if you want to ask her out almost immediately, make sure your profile is awesome! She’ll probably double-check it before considering agreeing.
4. Self-deprecation, done right
As I stated earlier, you can do a little bit of self-deprecation but be careful with how you do it.
A good way is to make a joke about dating or Tinder and how you might not be the best at it but to show that you’re willing to try.
That type of vulnerability can be adorable but it’s safe, it won’t make us think that you might start crying in the middle of a date or that you’re going to be a bore who is only going to talk about how sad your life is.
First of all, he made sure to start with something he saw on her profile, which is a great way to stand out from the rest and get her interest.
Second, he made a joke about himself using a lame pick up line, which is actually funny and relatable to everyone.
And third, and definitely the cherry on top, he went for the Snapchat right away, which shows that he’s interested in her, all jokes aside.
5. Open the conversation with a Meme or Gif
We live in technological times in which memes are at everyone’s disposal, so why not use them?
Gifs are a great way to start talking with girls on Tinder. If you use something related to a specific topic, it can even be something for you guys to talk about. Furthermore, you have the “be funny” part practically guaranteed.
For example, this one is a funny one and, if you’re a Star Wars lover, you might find out that your match is one too, and this one is a great way to continue or start the conversation on Tinder!
6. Set-up the first date
Now, there are a few variations of this one but they all have a pretty good chance of working like a charm.
What is it all about?
Introducing a joke or something enticing that includes a comment regarding when your first Tinder date might be.
One that I saw a week ago was one in which the guy pretended to be her husband from the future and was arguing about where they had their first date, and could you please remind me?
Now, the genius of it is that first is funny –if absurd- second, you engage her with a question, and third, you even let her give you a suggestion of something to do for your first date!
So it’s a pretty solid way to break the ice, make it fun, and actually ask her out!
This is a variation of the prior one and it actually works pretty well.
Yes, the majority of girls love men's hoodies, what can we say?
They’re crazy comfortable. So this is a good enticement, you’re offering something right away, and you can either make the fact that you’ll use it on your first date either a condition or just insert it as a comment, and it works like a charm!
So there you go, some advice on how to not only break the ice and talk to girls on Tinder but also be so smooth you’ll get that date in record time!
Remember, the key is to be witty but with just the right type of humor.
After all, you’re just getting to know her!
I know sometimes ”online things” make us feel closer or further apart from the other person, but in the end, we’re all humans and you should be respectful just as you would with any stranger on the street. This is especially true if you’re trying to go out with them!
This part of the article deals with what not to do when you're just starting off a conversation with a girl
7. Don't Start with something extremely explicit
First, if you’re not looking for just hookups on Tinder, NEVER do this.
You’ll be hurting your possibilities of getting some real conversation right there. Now, if you’re actually looking for just flings…still, don’t start this way.
The possibilities of getting what you want by starting with some explicit first message are not actually great.
Maybe you heard it works for someone else, but trust me, they are the 1% and they got lucky. Am I saying that no girl is looking for a hookup? No! There are girls looking for just that, which is exactly what you want.
But the majority of them don’t want you to just hit them with it, out of nowhere, before you have even exchanged two words with each other. So my advice is to be on the side of caution and actually start a conversation, test the waters and if you realize you both are looking for the same thing…well then go ahead, and explicitly away.
8. Don't be extra her self-deprecation
Ugh. Now, a little bit of self-deprecation can be funny or even endearing.
But you have to be careful with this one because a lot of times it just comes across as boring, sad, or, sorry if I sound too harsh, pathetic.
Do you really think it will be attractive?
Think about it, how attractive are people with this very low self-esteem? If you don’t like yourself then why should we like you?
So if you’re doing it to be funny, be careful.
And if you really feel this way, well then maybe you should try and think of the positive things you have going for you and focus on those instead of on what you consider to be your drawbacks!
9. Don't Send her demeaning pick-up lines
And remember that, you are a total stranger!
Right there with the explicit ones, there are the demeaning ones. Now, I’m not claiming that there aren’t some people that are into that, but getting it from a total stranger is probably not what we girls are looking for. Hence, you shouldn't say these lines to girls on Tinder.
So don’t be surprised when you never get an answer back, get unmatched or find sarcasm directed towards you as a defense mechanism, because really, all you’re going to do is get her on the defensive, when what you really want is to get to know her, even if you’re not looking for something serious.
We've published more guides that can help you with conversation skills, do read them.