There are so many things going on while dating online but 90% of them won’t matter as much as your conversation starters matter. You don’t have to be concerned about asking her out if you don’t have any potential date to ask. That’s the truth. It may hurt at first, but your pics aren’t the reason why you’re not getting responses.
Studies show that men send at least 114 messages only to get one response. This is quite a pity to hear, but hopefully, we have found what can be done to go against statistics: get better conversation starters. Your intuition may be thinking of dirty pickup lines but they’re not exactly what yields replies.
You want to give them that dopamine rush through their bloodstream the moment they read your message. And to do this you have to refine your approach. If your mind is stuck on getting a quick hookup while writing these openers, they’re likely to come dirty. If it takes five seconds for you to write something, let it be ten.
Think of how appropriate that is and what response you could get. If you don’t want to overthink this steal something from our list of 50 openers for POF (Plenty of Fish) (a.k.a one of the oldest dating sites in town).
50 Best POF (Plenty of Fish) Conversation Starters
1. “Love your smile. Wondering what would it take to see it live?”
Sweet, short, and punchy. Compliments always work regardless of gender. But make sure that you touch on a trait that’s obvious, and don’t be too dirty otherwise you may ruin your chances.
2. “What life accomplishment are you most proud of?”
Everyone has a few. Maybe they’ve reached a milestone lately and they can’t wait to share it with someone. Let it be you.
3. “Ever thought about this: what is the most meaningful thing someone could do for you?”
Time to be a little romantic here. People usually like deep thinkers, unless you’re too deep into philosophy.
4. “Would you rather spend a weekend at home watching Netflix in PJs or being up and out early, enjoying the day? I’m up for both.”
You’d want to see how they spend the weekends. Regardless of their response, compliment with a reason that supports their choice to keep the conversation going.
5. “What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?”
It’s something worth asking because you’re touching on a detail of their life which is not about sex or relationships. From there you can also learn what they love doing the most.
6. “What is more important — doing what you love, or doing what you’re good at?”
That’s a pretty controversial topic to bring up. You’ll make them think you’re a deep thinker and not a shallow person who’s trying to spark up a conversation just to hook up with them.
7. “POV: You won the lottery. What would you do with the money?”
Money is a universal topic everyone discusses so chances are you’ve got their attention with this one. Creating a “what if” scenario can get your responses. The more detailed you are, the better.
8. “Swimming with sharks, bungee jumping, or skydiving? If you had to choose one, what would it be?”
You’re not only putting them in front of a challenge, but you’re giving them options. This puts them into thinking about options, not whether they should respond or not. That’s implied in a quite stylish manner.
9. “Just curious: What qualities do you look for in people you date? For me honestly comes first.”
You’re not only asking a question but also giving away a piece of information about yourself. And since you’re going first that makes it easier for them to reply.
10. “Craving for something sweet. What is your favorite dessert?”
Put a little sweetness onto the chat. Since you’re provoking a positive emotion, chances are they’ll feel good and roll a response meanwhile.
11. “A loving Leo says Hi. Do you believe in astrology btw?”
Astrology is pretty popular around the world. People even take it as a starting point when choosing their friends or partner.
12. “POV: You can buy a plane ticket to a country of your choice. Where would you go?”
You’re pressing their imagination button with this one. If they’ve expressed in their POF bio that they like traveling, this is the ideal conversation starter.
13. “What’s something you’re really good at?”
Whether it’s for good or bad, chances are that you’ll get a response with this one. It can be a sarcastic answer but it’ll be an answer that lets you continue the conversation further.
14. “Let’s go back in time. What did you want to be when you were a child?”
Everyone has had those childish dreams we laugh at when we think about now. Making them recall those days is likely to give you a response because you’re making them feel good. (Just like the 10th question.)
15. “I’ve got a tricky question. If you could stop time, what would you do?”
Tap on their strongest desires. They could have regret or dream they’d like to share with someone. Be this someone.
16. “What is a skill you wish you had? I wish I could play the guitar.”
This question falls in the safe zone questions which help you connect with them without talking about anything sexual. Keep in mind to always go first so responding comes easier to them.
17. “Hey! My doctor told me yesterday that I lack Vitamin U. I think you could help me with it.”
Use this punchline like a pro, and you’ll get them smiling on the other side of the screen.
18. “What place did you want to visit when you were a kid?”
This is similar to the 4th question but more specific about travel lovers.
19. “Wow! I’ve never been bungee jumping before. How was it?”
Show interest in the activity they’re doing in the picture, or in what they’ve expressed they enjoy doing.
20. “Let’s kick it off with smth funny: If you could only eat 5 things for the rest of your life, what would they be?”
Putting an exact number makes the question more specific. It’s an ideal one if they’re food lovers but it generally works for everyone.
21. “If you were to write a book, what would the title be?”
Understand their views on life and themselves with this question. Keep on asking about the reason behind it in order to understand the story that lies behind it and to know them better.
22. “Your job sounds super interesting. What exactly does being a (job name) consist of?”
We spend over 90,000 hours working on average during our lifetime. When we become experts in one field it feels good to appear as an expert in front of others.
23. “If you had one extra hour every day, how would you spend it? Looking for ideas. I've got free time but not much to do.”
Shot two birds with one stone. Learn how they prefer to spend their time but also get some activity ideas you can use yourself.
24. “Taking a poll, do you prefer savory or sweet?”
The more formal you appear, the less clingy you sound, which means more chances to get a reply.
25. “That jacket looks super comfy. Can I share it with you?”
Their clothes give you an endless amount of options for conversation starters. (Just don’t ask them to take them off. Yet.)
26. “Hey Google/Siri, how do I tell this girl/guy they’re pretty?”
Jokes with virtual assistants have become pretty popular. You can use them to sound indirect with your compliments.
27. “Not Elon Musk, but I'd like to take you out of this world.”
Keep your jokes and punchlines relevant by including popular people and current world events. (E.g What kind of partner am I? I’d have slapped Chris at least twice).
28. “I suck at starting conversations. You want to give it a try?”
Show a little bit of humility sprinkled with jokes. You may think you’re saying nothing impressive but you’re actually grabbing their attention by being humble and letting them do the evaluation.
29. “Surprise! I got you flowers. (flower emoji)!”
Emojis are truly powerful to help you write your first messages online that actually get responses.
30. “Roses are red, violets are blue. I may not be good-looking but dang, look at you!”
Get that inner poet out of you and into the chatbox. Poetry is the language of the heart. It helps you connect with people.
31. “Speed round: Two truths and a lie. Go!”
This game never gets old. It’s challenging and helps you understand what they value about themselves.
32. “Let’s talk books: What is your favorite book of all time?”
Books are food for thought. Not only can you learn what thoughts they prefer to feed themselves but also shows you’re a well-read person.
33. “Curious. If you could host a talk show, who would you have on first?”
This opener helps you understand what celebrities they like. From there it can turn into a beautiful conversation about movies.
34. “Tell me: What piece of technology could you live without?”
How much are they willing to give up? What are they tired of the most? This opener helps you find out.
35. “What is the stupidest joke you’ve ever heard? I’m gathering the oddest.”
Everyone has had their own share of awkward moments when someone was trying too hard. It’s a good topic to laugh about together.
36. “I’d make a joke but first: Who is your favorite comedian?”
A joke about jokes. Now that's something. You're showing that you're trying to get their tastes.
37. “What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve gotten? Just to make sure I don’t ruin my chances.”
Are you funny? Well, how do you prove it? Actions. Simply make a joke.
38. “Hey, I noticed you travel a lot. Any suggestions for my 4-day weekend?”
If they are an experienced traveler, you can make them feel flattered by asking them for advice or anything related to travel.
39. “What are you good at that you’re really proud of? I take pride in parking well.”
Trivialities can often be a good source of conversation starters, pick-up lines, or jokes. You can ask them a serious question like this while adding a joke to make it sounds less serious.
40. “Oh, what a cute dog/cat! What’s their name?”
Be interested in the details they’ve shared in their pictures. Whether it’s a pet, human or simply an object (e.g car, home, etc.) showing interest in knowing more about them will make them feel good.
41. “When was the last time you worked incredibly hard?”
Get ready to share your achievements. When we hit difficult milestones in life, we take pride in sharing them with others. Making them feel good is the first step to starting a conversation that goes somewhere.
42. “I wanna quit dating. I finally met the one I was looking for.”
Well, there’s no shame in telling her that you’re serious about taking things further. 29% of married couples surveyed claimed to have met through online dating. Maybe this is your chance.
43. “What habits do you find annoying? I’ve got this habit of staring a lot at people I like.”
A serious question combined with a pun can truly be magical. In this case, you’re giving them the option to open up with you.
44. “Maybe never thought about it but if you had to change your name, what would your new name be?”
They may have never thought about this before. Be the first to mention it and receive their attention.
45. “I see you’ve been to Bali! Was it really that amazing as they say?”
Do you know where the places they’ve shared in their bio? Asking a genuine question like this invites them to share their experience.
46. “Let’s go back in time. What smell brings back great memories?”
Nostalgia can trigger beautiful feelings. We tend to enjoy the company of people who make us recall those beautiful moments. Be one of them.
47. “This is a deep one: What do you wish your phone could do?”
Play with their imagination. You can even add your answer to it before sending it out. Adding ‘this is a deep one’ is likely to make them feel challenged.
48. “I love your shirt. Where did you get that?”
Stick to details. Asking for suggestions is a seamless way to get into their inbox. But adding a compliment is essential before taking this step.
49. “Tough question: would you rather inherit money or work for it?”
This question helps you understand how hardworking they are, and whether your personalities match. If you’re looking for an independent partner, and they say that they’d prefer to have inherited money, that seems like a small red flag.
50. “What is your favorite way to stay healthy? Need some advice here.”
To make this conversation starter softer and more effective you can also add a compliment on their appearance before sending it out.