Here’s the deal: OkCupid is one of the best dating apps out there. I use it, and millions of others use it to land new mates, new dates – and even love.
However, it doesn’t matter how good a dating app is if you don’t even know how to start a conversation!
I get it.
Lots of people find that they have no problem landing matches on OkCupid, but what they’re struggling with is turning those matches into genuine conversations where there’s a connection, a spark, and even something more.
I’ve been using OkCupid for a few years now. And I know how you feel – getting people to reply to your first OkCupid message isn’t easy.
But I’ve learned several tricks along the way, and I now know what works and what doesn’t work.
So join me as I take a look at the…
20 Best OkCupid Openers to Start The Conversation
1. Would You Rather?
Asking a question is one of the best OkCupid openers because it is one of the few OkCupid messages that get responses.
But I find that one of the easiest ways to get someone to reply is to open with a “Would you rather?” type question.
Here’s what I mean:
Sunset or sunrise?
Night in or a night out?
Cuddles or kisses?
The trick is to NOT be creepy.
For example, don’t ask something like “Make out on the first date or not make out on the first date?”
Just ask them for something light and uncomplicated.
2. Point Something Out From Their OkCupid Profile
As you might have noticed, OkCupid profiles are often very detailed. Users have taken the time to fill out their bios to make themselves look more interesting.
So why not show some online dating etiquette by mentioning someone in their profile?
“I love Breaking Bad more!
“So you like to read Austen? What else do you read besides classics?”
“That is a beautiful dog with you in the picture. So, are you a dog person?”
3. “I will Admit it”
Another thing I’ve noticed over the years on OkCupid is that people appreciate realness. While exuding confidence is obviously advantageous in the dating world, there’s a lot to be said for realness.
I’ll admit it – I’ve never done online dating before. You’re the first person I’ve ever messaged! I’m kinda nervous haha. How’s it going?
4. “We’ve Got Over The First Hurdle …”
Everyone knows that landing a match doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get along with your match. So you could try something like this:
Okay, so we’ve matched. But there’s still work to be done. Shall we see if we actually get along?
5. Defer To Their Wisdom
I’ve found that one of the best ways to get a response on OKCupid is to ask for help. Like this:
Hey, I noticed you’re a massive movie lover. I’m trying to get into movies haha but obviously don’t know as much as you do. Any recommendations?
6. Ask Them About Their Weekend
Sometimes, people appreciate a simple opening line. Like this:
Hey, how’s your weekend going?
7. Be Open-Minded
Another thing worth mentioning about OkCupid is that the people who use this dating app tend to be very open-minded. As such, it’s a good idea to show your own open-mindedness in your opening message. Like this:
Do you enjoy debating anything and everything as much as I do while remaining friends afterward because you know that two people who otherwise get along can actually debate things rationally and calmly?
8. Be Funny!
Funny and cheeky often work really well on an app like OkCupid. For example, you could try something like this:
We matched! Does this mean we’re a couple now?
9. Start With a Joke
As well as being funny, you could actually start with one of your favorite jokes. Interactive jokes work best on an app like OkCupid, such as “Knock Knock” jokes because they elicit curiosity.
The other person HAS to answer to find out the punchline!
10. Be a Tease
Here’s what I mean:
Hey, I was going to open with a really dramatic, existential question, but then I realized that would be too heavy for a dating site! So, hi!
I’ve tried this line a few times, and most times the girl will respond with, “Ha! Now I want to know what you were going to write!”
It’s just an easy way to elicit curiosity on their part.
11. Truth or Dare
Truth or Dare can be a really flirtatious game if you get it right. Just make sure your questions aren’t too heavy or too private. Keep it fun!
12. Be a Little Bit Freaky
I have to admit that this one won’t always work.
But if you know you’re a bit weird and wish to celebrate your weirdness with an equally weird person, there’s no reason why you can’t try something a bit freaky and left field now and then.
If I was a marshmallow, what would you do to me?
Pro tip: OkCupid is full of open-minded people who enjoy exploring their sexuality. So a bit of freakiness can sometimes work.
13. Compliment Them (But Be Original)
I remember the first time *I* got complimented in the first message on OkCupid. Instead of the usual, “you’re so hot” line that literally gets no one anywhere (but makes them look a bit silly), a girl said this to me:
How do you get your hair to quiff like that?! Tips please, it’s amazing!
This is a great way to pay someone a compliment in your opening message without looking cliche or disturbing.
14. Be An Introverts Dream
Another thing to bear in mind about OkCupid is that it has a good balance of introverts and extroverts (I’d say there are far more introverts on here, though). As such, you won’t go too wrong if you ask something like this in your opening message:
15. Find Out Why They’re On OkCupid
If you want to know more about what they’re looking for, you could open with a question like this:
Why did you choose OkCupid?
Their answer could reveal whether the two of you have the same motivations and aims.
16. Pay Homage To The Stars
Even if you don’t believe in horoscopes, you could still try an OkCupid opener like this:
The stars said that I would meet someone beautiful today and we would be together forever. Wow. They’re not wrong, are they? When should we get married?
17. Ask If They Want To Begin the Conversation
Here’s what I mean:
I don't have any idea what to say in an opening message! Do you want to start?
It’s cute, it’s cheeky, it’s a little bit funny – and it’s a fantastic online dating icebreaker.
18. Bond With An Embarrassing Reveal
NOTHING helps two strangers bond more than an embarrassing reveal:
What’s your most embarrassing first date moment so far?
19. Just Be Direct (But Cute)
It’d be VERY weird to go on a first date after just one message, but there’s nothing wrong with being really direct (but obviously joking) in your opening message.
Just popping into the pub. What do you want? I’ll save you a seat.
You could change it to a “coffee house” if you prefer. Either way, this opening line shows confidence, and it shows that you’re up for a bit of straight talk (which many people appreciate).
Plus, they’ll know you’re not being serious.
20. Or Just Say Hi!
If you really can’t think of anything else to say, just say hi – but be a bit different. For example, how about Hola!
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